November, 2000:

Got coffee and dinner with Tony. Then I went back to his place and watched SNL for the first time in ages.

Tony is great because he is one of the few people I can relate to on a technical and social level within driving distance of here.

Came home around 2am and spent sometime futzing with Gnome.

Toby has taken to laying on top of my 21″ monitor whenever I use the computer. He hangs his head of the top and watches my mouse cursor move around the screen. Every now and then, when the cursor is near the top of the screen, he will paw at it like it is a fly that desperately needs to be caught. I think this officially replaces the time I found him sleeping in a teensy-tiny box at the VERY back of my cluttered closet as the cutest thing he has ever done.

Time for bed. I am not really tired, but know I should sleep.

I still didn’t get any cleaning done today.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will clean.

Coding.

I think I may give Tony a call in a few minutes and see if he wants to go get coffee.

Due to the rash of surveys I have seen on LJ lately… I have decided to create my own. Since I am more an essay kind of guy as opposed to a fill-in-the-blank dude, my survey will consist of essay questions. You will be graded according to originality, and honesty. Along with the questions you will see my own answers.

What are some things you are thankful for? You may be as terse or verbose as you wish.

I am thankful for the right to think; The fact that regardless of how much they take away from me, or throw in my face, or put me through, they cannot change my thoughts, my beliefs, and my convictions.

I am thankful for life’s lessons; That regardless of how many times I screw up, say too much, don’t say enough, or fail to achieve something, life teaches me something EVERYTIME, and I come out of every incident a bit stronger, a bit wiser, and a bit more tainted.

I am thankful for the people that have come in and out of my life; The people that have taught me how to learn, how to live, how to love, how to laugh, how to cry, and how to be myself. I am thankful that Jennifer taught me that I should be weary of everyone. I am thankful that Amanda taught me that everyone is not just like me. I am thankful that Elizabeth taught me that some truly perfect and incredible people do exist and that it takes a lot of patience and a little intuition to find them. I am thankful that Melissa taught me that people can and will take advantage of you if given the chance. I am thankful that January taught me that regardless of how much you love someone, that doesn’t mean they return your feelings. I am thankful that Ali taught me that people are not always what they seem, and that you have to look under the surface if you are to see what’s really inside. I am thankful that Jaclyn taught me that some people really do want to know what you are feeling, and that holding those feelings inside only leads to more hurt, more angst, and more confusion. I am thankful that Emily and Erin taught me that regardless of how lonely you are, running into a relationship does not make it go away. I am thankful for many. many more.

I am thankful for firsts. I am thankful for Julie and my first kiss. I am thankful for January and my first love. I am thankful for Amanda and my first time. I am thankful for Elizabeth and the first time I ever really knew what unconditional meant. I am thankful for Jaclyn and the first time I was not open enough with my feelings and the first time that I realized that sex could be fun.

I am thankful for fast database servers.

I am thankful for the open source movement and the people who believe that collectively we are better than we could ever be individually.

I am thankful for music, and poetry, without which there would be no reason to live, and no way to express what living was.

What is your greatest inhibition?

I am most inhibited when confronted with someone who sees beyond the mask I paint on my face to cover my scar-ridden face.

When are you the happiest?

I am the happiest when I am surrounded by intelligent people with opinions that differ from mine.

I am happiest when the air is just cold enough to make you remember your jacket but not cold enough that you wear it.

I am happiest at night under a clear sky and a full moon.

I am happiest right after it rains.

If you could have any one thing, what would it be?

If I could have any one thing I would have someone in my life that truly understands me, and is not afraid of what I am, who I was, or who I will become. I would have a best friend, a lover, and a counsellor all rolled into one.

If you could rid the world of any one thing, what would it be?

I would rid the world of Distance if I could.

Distance between friends due to past events, or unfortunate circumstances.

Physical distance that restrains people from being with one another and enjoying one another’s company.

Distance between where one wants to be in life and where one actually is.

Distance between people due to differences in religious or political beliefs.

Kim just called. I left my green hat on the ground outside her apartment. Must have fallen out of my pocket.

I’m up. I think.

This four day weekend I have spent a whole lot of time doing a whole lot of nothing. During these past two days I have learned something about myself.

I need EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP.

I have had no alarm clocks, no appointments, no schedule, no responsibilities, and no concerns. Because of this, I have gone to bed when I want, and woke up when I want to. All three nights I have gotten at least eight hours of sleep.

Back when I was in high school, and even before that, I used to go to bed around midnite, and get up around 5am. Everyday. Weekend, Holiday, school day, summer time, work day, it didn’t matter. I always felt fine, and always operated efficiently.

I guess I am getting older, or more worn out, or something.

Since I didn’t get the cleaning done yesterday that I had wanted to, I am going to try to get it done today. It’ll be just me, my MP3′s and a many many piles of shit to sort though.

Went out to Dick’s Last Resort with Kim and Angie. After that, we went to IHOP to grab something to eat. Then over to Kim’s place to talk for a little while.

We had a great time.

At IHOP we ran into Renee from Starbucks. Due to my lonely disposition, I, for the first time, considered what a relationship with her would be like. I think it might actually be pretty good. Too bad I am too big of a wuss to actually do anything about it.

When we were at Kim’s place, Kim flashed me her boobs several times, and even dropped her pants to moon me at one point. It seems that everytime Kim gets some alcohol in her stuff like this happens. I am not sure if she is just naturally THAT flirtatious and the alcohol causes her to lose her inhibitions, or if the alcohol itself makes her flirtatious, or if she still wants me and the alcohol allows her to act on the feeling. I guess it doesn’t really matter either way, as I certainly don’t want to try that again.

I have been playing around with IceCast today and have setup a Live365 relay server. Right now, it doesn’t do much but let you hear whatever it is I happen to be listening to at the moment. Still reasonably cool.

You can access it through Live365′s website (http://www.live365.com/cgi-bin/directory.cgi?autostart=revjim) or by playing the following URL in WinAmp, XMMS, FreeAmp, mpg123, kaiman, or whatever else you happen to play MP3′s with:

http://166.90.143.152:11138/

If you do happen to listen, send me an email and let me know. Live365 sucks so I have no way of knowing who is listening.

Time for bed for me now.

Going to get coffee with Kim and Angie.

Misty just called back to apologize for yelling at me. At least she realized that she had and was willing to swallow her pride and admit it. This is a big step for her.

Misty left for Belton this morning. Somehow I feel guilty for not going with her. She called me a few times this morning before she got on her way.

The first time was to tell me that I was wrong and that CompUSA does not carry Radar Detectors. Then she called again to ask me where else she could go. I suggested Best Buy. She then called again to tell me that she couldn’t find it. Turns out she took the wrong exit.

All three times that she called I was being very helpful. Offering as many suggestions as I could, and trying to do my best to give suggestions that would not require her to venture too far off of her intended path. I think she is upset that I am not going, because even though I was being incredibly nice, she was very short and seemed to be very angry throughout all of our conversations.

Dinner with Mom was fun last night. When I brought my brother home, I saw Amanda’s car parked in the parking lot, so I went up to say hello. She and Nick (one of my brother’s roommates) were pretty high, so I didn’t stay long.

Afterwards I called Misty liked I told her I would. She decided that she wanted to hang out at my place, and since I was pretty close to where she lives I drove over there to pick her up. I helped her Grandfather with a Eudora installation and a few MSWord questions, and then we were on our way.

I made a few suggestions for things to do, but Misty didn’t like any of them. After an hour or so, she asked me to take her home. I still don’t understand why.

I came home and spent most of the night talking to Cindy and lizard.

Woke up around 11:00am.

I need to take a shower, and then find something to eat. After that, I am cleaning. I hate it when my place gets like this. It had been very clean for a while, it’s time to get it back that way.

I customized my Gnome Desktop. I am not 100% happy with it yet… but it is getting there.

(click to enlarge)

Went to Starbucks to get coffee. All of the employees were sitting outside because work was so slow due to the holiday. I am glad they were open though.

Then, Kim and I went to see Charlie’s Angels. Decent movie, I guess, if you can get past all of the inconsistencies and very unbelievable special effects.

Got in a big fight with Misty (who is at work right now) because I went to see a movie today. She wants to see the movie as well, and felt that I should wait for her, instead of going to see it with Kim. Only instead of asking me nicely not to go and to wait for her, she just instantly called me a “Dick” and then wouldn’t explain to me exactly WHY I was a “Dick”. After I repeatedly asked for about 5 or 10 minutes, she finally told me why. After that much work, to hear something so silly, I was in no mood to talk to her. So, I just told her I would talk to her later and went to the movie.

First of all, the whole ordeal would have been much different had she just asked me not to go, as opposed to just assuming that I would somehow KNOW that she didn’t want me to go, and then becoming incredible upset with me afterwards for it. Secondly, even if she had asked nicely, if I still chose to go, why should that upset her? She has no claims on me, or what I choose to do with my free time. I could even halfass understand her complaint, if her and I were dating (well, not really… but it would make a little more sense) but we aren’t. She is a friend. Why should she even care.

After spending WAY too much time talking with her back in forth via email, I think things with her are finally straightened out, though I am sure the next time I see her in person I will hear a bit more of it. Sometimes I just don’t understand people. Perhaps she has some other underlying reason she didn’t want me to go. That is the only way it would make sense. But if that is the case, why didn’t she just come out and say it.

*sigh*

Now I am leaving to go pick up my brother and then we are heading to the Black Eyed Pea to meet my mom, my sister and her boyfriend for dinner. Misty was initially going to come with us… but then this argument occurred and she decided that she just couldn’t see me because she was so upset. Now that she is past that point, she found out that she is not getting off work early like she thought, so she cannot come anyway.

Going for Vietnamese food on Thanksgiving. Woop.