I had a long conversation with Jennifer today. It is so good to hear the voice of someone so genuine.
We talked about everything and nothing all at the same time. With her, it really doesn’t matter what is said… just the fact that we are speaking is enough to make me feel peaceful, and loved.
A friend of mine (who constantly asks what-if questions) asked me something not to long ago. He asked, “If you had to marry someone, and you could have any woman in the world, who would you choose?” It didn’t take me more than a few seconds to come up with Jennifer’s name.
Her and I joke about her coming here to be my wife… I don’t think she knows how serious I am. I have said this before, and I say it again now: I don’t care what situation I am in… if the chance to be with her ever arises, I would take it without a second thought.
She is learning to play guitar, which gives me one more thing to be enchanted with her about. The unfortunate thing, is that she is currently married. Not happily married, mind you, but married none the less. And regardless of how bad that situation is, I would never be able to live with myself if I were the one who broke it up. Therefore, I do not act.
I realized today, that not counting my relatives and family friends, I have known her longer than anyone else I still have contact with. The funny thing is, her and I have never met. I met her online ages ago when tap-on-line still offered telnet based chat rooms. She was screaming “Jeremiah” and I thought it would be funny to pretend I was him. Little did I know that would turn into to what we have now. I still have a picture of her tucked away in a shoebox somewhere. Her with her heart breaking smile, cute curly, hair and the most beautiful hands I have ever seen. I should find that picture.
We may never get our chance, but I cannot help but hope that we will.