January, 2001:

Maybe you would love me
if I could sing like James Taylor.
Perhaps if my arms were bigger,
you would let me hold you in the cold.
If I didn’t want to kiss you so badly,
maybe you would let me.
If I didn’t do it right the first time
maybe I wouldn’t feel so old.

If I didn’t seem so eager
maybe you would treat me right.
If I didn’t always tell the truth
maybe you’d see through the lies.
If I prayed to another God
would my dreams come true?
I wonder if I would feel like this
if I’d never looked in your eyes.

Maybe I wouldn’t need you
If I smiled when you weren’t around.
Maybe if I didn’t try so hard
I wouldn’t feel like a failure.
If I didn’t care so much
maybe I would do just that.
Maybe I wouldn’t want you
if I could sing like James Taylor.

I knew this would happen
before it actually did.
Yet I still made excuses to
touch you.
My pulse still doubled its pace
when you called.

If I could only be a fold
in the sheets of
his bed
to see him touch you
like I should.
If I could only see
your eyes
as you chit-chat
while looking into his.

I must have imagined that
you extended your finger
towards mine.
Its cold, clean touch
only a dream.

You are not worth these tears.
You are not worth this feeling in my stomach.
You are not worth these cut finger nails.
You are not worth this freshly shaven face.
You are not worth the lie I told so you wouldn’t know you weren’t worth it.
You are not worth these words.

Went to Time Square in Addison. I don’t really care for the place. For the most part, it was full of needy, desperate people looking to get laid. Crappy music (in all but the piano bar), and the girls there couldn’t dance for crap.

I would have had a better time if Kim hadn’t been hanging all over me all night long. *sigh*

Nicki and I got into a conversation about religious beliefs. She was SHOCKED to discover that I do not believe in any form of higher power other than that which we make up collectively. At first, I think she was a little taken back by it… but seems okay with it now.

Ben was a lot of fun. Sang a lot… and didn’t give a fuck what other people thought about him. I love people like that. Ran into Salman (a co-worker) there. Heh. Kim and Nicki danced on either side of him… which cracked me up. He bought me a shot of Tequila.

Since I was the designated driver tonight (I am almost always the designated driver) Nicki decided I am going to the designated drunk at the Buffet concert.

Oh yeah… a while back I got Buffet tickets for February 13th. Nicki and I also decided we are both taking off work on the 14th and getting drunk at her place starting at noon, in celebration of Anti-Valentine’s Day.

I saw one girl at this place that I thought was attractive. She was a little chunky, and had a sort of annoying voice… but there was something about her hair and her eyes that just captured me.

On the way to Time Square we listened to Bare Naked Ladies…. and on the way back, Buffet.

I am really excited about the show. I don’t care if he is drunk the entire time… cause I will be too.

Nicki and Ben want me to go out to Deep Ellum with them tomorrow night. I told them I would consider it… but that I was hanging out with my brother tomorrow night, so if he didn’t want to go, then I wouldn’t be able to make it.

And now, since it is 2:30am, I should get to bed. Tomorrow I have to pay my American Express Bill, play paintball with my brother and MANY other people, clean my apartment, fix Jaclyn’s sound card, order some computer parts fpr Jeff, pick up Brad’s waterbed for him, and… hopefully, do a little apartment hunting.

Going out… somewhere… with Kim, Nicki and Ben. I’m driving. Heh.

Yay. Just talked to Nicki and Ben online. Might do something with them in a bit.

All of my plans for tonight have fell apart…

I was going to drive to Austin, sleep in the street and get front row tickets to “Rent” in the morning. Then see the show, go out drinking that night, see the Austin Rocky Horror cast even later that night, then more drinking, then sleep, then come home the next day. But Gwen, the reason Brad was going (and Brad was the reason I was going) decided to jump on a plane and fly to Maryland to be a dancer for I.C.P. within about 8 hours notice.

I was going to go Bungee Jumping this weekend… but I am lower on cash than I thought I would be and cannot afford to go. On top of that, the people I was going with decided to go Sky Diving instead, which costs even more money.

I was going to go see “Once Upon a Mattress” at my old high school tonight, with Brad my Mom and my Sister, but Brad has some domestic issues that need resolving, my sister decided to go do something with her boyfriend instead, and my Mom decided she was going to go tomorrow instead.

I called my brother to invite him to see one of the following bands: Doosu/Chomsky at the Wreck Room, Leroy the Prophet at the Aardvark, Larry at Club DaDa, Baboon at the Ridgelea Theater, Pornlab at the Curtain Club, or Jibe at Club Clearview. I offered to pay for drinks and admission as an after-your-birthday-additional-birthday-present. He, however, decided that he is kinda tired, and has to get up early tomorrow morning for the birthday surprise Julie is giving him, so he would rather just sit at home with Nick and go to bed early.

I called Jaclyn to see if she wanted to go out tonight, but she has to meet her dad to drive her to the Lawyers office so she will know how to get there tomorrow. Then he is taking her out to dinner.

I called Ashley, but she is going to work tonight.

Amanda has to work early tomorrow, so she doesn’t feel like driving out here, and is very adverse to people coming over to “her” place.

I would call Nicki, but her man, Ben, is in town from Chicago and I am sure they want to be alone.

Tom is in New Orleans this weekend. I mention this, not because I would hang out with him… but just as a demonstration of the fact that everyone is busy.

I also called Amber, to ask her something else, and she has yet to return my call. That leads me to believe she is busy.

Same story as Amber for Rita.

That leaves Sean, Mike, Lisa, and Tony.

Sean, Mike and Lisa live in Denton… which is kinda far to drive, although I might consider giving them a call if they can come up with anything to do.

I know Tony would most likely go get coffee with me… but I really want to do something more than get coffee tonight.

*sigh*

Sometimes I get so fed up with the way web applications that I encounter on the Internet are developed. Either the people who create these things don’t care about the business they are creating them for, don’t know anything about the business they are creating for, have no concept of good web technology, or smoke more crack rock than I do.

I have visited 8 bazillion (that is not an exaggeration) apartment locator websites, and none of them work “right”. And this is just one market. Nothing works like it should, from job websites, to dating services, to guestbooks, to online journals (not counting LJ… which was created by a talented programmer who actually cares about and uses the service he is providing) to porn sites, to online stores like gap.com and oldnavy.com. Of all of the applications I have seen (and these are just the ones I have SEEN… there are billions more, I am sure) I would say AT MOST 1% were done close to what I would consider the right way.

When I say “the right way” I am not talking about the things that would work either way and are left up to the programmer to decide implementation, I am talking about the basic fundamental design of the application. For instance… if you have an apartment locator website… it should have a method for showing fullsize floor plans if the property has provided them. Period.

It really makes me sad.

I hate XSLT. It is retarded, in my opinion, to use one language (PHP, Perl) to call another languages parser (XSLT via Sablotron or Xalan), to open an XML data file, and an XSL instruction file, pull in records from a database, modify the XML data tree, and then slam them all together with that external (somewhat) parser. I also hate the idea of using markup to denote logic. RETARDED.

So… I have been working on a PHP specific way of grabbing the XML data, adding the data from the database to it, grabbing a content template file, and slamming them all together using PHP.

I made a lot of headway last night. I am still working out a few kinks in the design… but I am very excited about this.

I would actually consider using XSLT if I could do it without any PHP code… but I just hate the idea of running two parsers to generate ONE set of output. Sounds to me like a lot of overkill just to throw up a page that says “My name is Daniel and I like naked women” that looks the same as the rest of the website. And I REALLY hate putting logic in markup. It just reminds me of Miva and Cold Fusion and Meta-HTML and how using any of those three always made me PUKE in the past.

Maybe I’ll have some code to show for myself this evening.

Jaclyn is no help. I thought for sure she would be on my side: get a cheaper, bigger place as opposed to a nicer, smaller place. But no… she’s siding with Brad… and starting to convince me too.

I found some VERY cool apartments down near Deep Ellum. Problem is…. living near Deep Ellum means a VERY long drive to work, and an even longer drive for Brad.

If this real nice place we are looking at was built in such a way that we could move the walls around, I would be 100% content. Actually, the Mansions have a property that contains movable walls. Unfortunately, it is in Turtle Creek, which means A LOT more money, and a VERY VERY long drive to work.

If any of you get bored… here is what we are looking for:

At least 1200 sq ft. Between $1200 and $1600. Attached garage (preferably two car). Two bathrooms. Washer/Dryer hookups. Either two big bedrooms (big enough to fit a queen sized bed a longish dresser, a night stand, and a computer desk with room to breathe), two bedrooms and a den, or three bedrooms. Close to equal sized bedrooms. It must be somewhere North of 635, East of 35E, West of 75, and South of 190 (Lewisville, Addison, Carrolton, Farmers Branch, North Coppell, North Dallas, West Richardson — I work in Las Colinas, he works in North Plano). Something not too old (5 years max, 10 years if it is kept up really well). We are not adverse to renting a house.

Thanks in advance.

Bethany (a girl from work) knocks on my cube wall:

Me: Yes?
Her: Are you busy?
Me: I am ALWAYS busy, what do you need?
Her: You don’t have to say yes..
Me: Ok.
Her: Can you do me a favor?
Me: What?
Her: Can you take me to the airport?
Me: When?
Her: Today.
Me: Where ya headed?
Her: Lubbock.
Me: What time?
Her: My flight leaves at 4:50pm.
Me: So you wanna be there about 4:00pm?
Her: More like 3:30pm.

A slight pause

Me: Sure
Her: Thank you Daniel
Me: No problem.

A few minutes later, via Instant Messenger:

Her: I forgot to tell you…
Me: Yes?
Her: It is at Love Field.
Me: now you suck!
Her: Is that okay?
Me: For you, Bethany, anything.
Her: lol. thanks.
Me: I hope you know, Love Field is a LONG way in the wrong direction.
Her:wrong direction from where?
Me:wrong direction… because Love Field is towards Dallas, and Dallas means nasty traffic and a longer drive home. No big deal though. I don’t mind.
Her: Thanks Daniel… you are a good friend.
Me: I try.