June 29th, 2001:

I’m drinking Orange Crush in a glass bottle with a kitty in my lap. This makes me very happy.

I’m eating a fruit roll-up and that makes me very very happy.

And not the crappy, nasty ass cutout kind. The real, one-great-big-slab-o-pure-fruit-flattened-and-stuck-on-a-piece-of-plastic kind. Mmmmmm

Oh the stress, anguish, and inner turmoil that occurs in today’s workplace.

My boss just left work. He is on vacation Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and thought he would take a head start by leaving early today. I am in charge in his absence. My boss’ boss, is also on vacation, and doesn’t return until late Sunday night to be here Monday morning. My boss was in charge for my boss’ boss, which, since he is now gone, leaves me in charge of my people, my boss’ people, and my boss’ boss’ people. Now my boss’ boss’ boss works in New Jersey, or New York or Massachusetts or something.

In a, before now, unrelated circumstance, I don’t want to be here. I am tired, have stuff to do, and am just plain sick of work. I have work to do, but none of it is due tomorrow. In fact, none of it is even due Monday. In fact, none of it is even due next week.

Part of me wants to grab my laptop, sling it over my shoulder, and run out the front door. I tell my self, “I will never get caught, and even if I did, I could claim that I had a personal errand that I needed to run and since I don’t even know my boss’ boss’ boss’ name, I had no clue how to contact him/her to let him/her know I would be gone. Even if I did get caught, and had no excuse…..”

fuck it….

bye

(10:39:53) skyesque: you’re so cute. i wish we lived near each other
(10:39:59) skyesque: i think we would go out all the time
(10:40:04) skyesque: and have metric buttloads of fun
(10:40:41) skyesque: actually, we would probably just sit in random parking lots and have lots of deep conversations
(10:40:48) skyesque: and we would be like tragic teenagers

Cindy…. you’re the greatest.

“You seem beat up.” — My Boss

I don’t mind worry following me like a dinosaur
I don’t fear I am descending into the molten core
So far, I have not found a Science.

This morning is one of the mornings where I spend the entire time I am making coffee, picking out clothes, checking e-mail, taking a shower, and getting dressed trying to think of a good reason to call my boss and tell him I am going to work from home today. That should be reason enough.

When you were languishing in rooms I built to foul you in
And when the wind set down in funnel form and pulled you in

When the ghostly dust of violence traces everything
And when the gas runs out just wreck it, you insured the thing

But I can’t sigh now that you made the move
It has gone and gone to dogs, lay down on the floor
For the right price I can get everything
Slip into the car, go driving to the farthest star

I don’t need to walk around in circles

I know that I have lost more than she cares to admit. Although she tells me everything is fine, I know different. I know she feels like she cannot talk to me any more. And I can’t fix it. And I can’t call her on it. And it doesn’t matter. Because I don’t need to walk around in circles anymore.