revjim.net

I bowled a HORRIBLE game tonight. One of my worst yet. I started out doing real good. Bowled nothing but strikes and spares during warm-up. Then bowled a strike the first two frames of the first game. Then I slipped up and threw a ball off. Ever since that point I sucked. I think I got too discouraged and too frustrated.

My birthday is in five days. I don't feel like it should be my birthday yet… but it is. Twenty-three years old. I don't feel twenty-three. It is funny.. sometimes when I go out and am meeting people, I will size someone up in my head and say to myself, "She's too old for me" or something to that effect, only to find out a few minutes later that that person is younger than me. What is really odd is that all my life I have been in a crowd of older people. Having a birthday in the summer and skipping the first grade always made me one to two years younger than everyone else in school with me. Then, when I got out of high school, I went almost straight into the corporate world, skipping all of the "college student" type jobs like waiting tables and other such things. Even now, I am the youngest employee where I work. There a few contractors that are younger than me, but they don't even do close to the same work as I do. I think I am pretty close to the youngest person in our entire company to be in management.

We are laying off 10-12% of our work force. After everything was calculated, my team has to lose one person. I hate being a manager. I hate doing all of those manager type things. I would rather just do what I do best: code. And now… I have to lay someone off… that just makes it even worse. I am not sure how I am going to do it or what I am going to say.

I am not sure what I am doing for the Fourth of July, or for my birthday. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens. My mom in New York sent me a nice plant with balloons and a card. It got here on Sunday. I love plants, so that made me pretty happy.

I owe $1,700 to American Express. It is way past due, and it is one of the green cards… you know, the ones you have to pay off at the end of every month. I am not sure how I am going to pay it off. My work owes me about $600, and I have a check from sn0w_cr4sh for $650 that I can put towards it… but that still leaves just under $500. I guess I'll just do the best I can. The money racked up because I used the card when I went on vacation to New York to make it easier for me to track how much I spent. I guess that was a bad idea, because putting it on there makes it too easy to not pay off.

I guess I should go to bed now. I'm not really tired, but I know I have a day of work waiting for me in the morning. I should put in a load of laundry before I go to bed to make sure I have work clothes in the morning, but I am too lazy to do it.