Of all the people I could have taken after, I’m glad I take after my father. And I’m not just talking about looks here.
Thank you, Dad, for giving me someone to look up to, someone to learn from, and someone to watch over me. I love you.
September 6th, 2001:
Woo!!
While I was in the shower, the following songs were selected by XMMS:
Radiohead/How Do You?
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/Room at the Top
Nick Drake/Nick Drake – Pink Moon
Tom Waits/Downtown Train
Radiohead/Bullet Proof I Wish I Was
And that is when it hit me….
Tom Waits!! That’s it!! If I could write lyrics like any musician, I would choose to write them like Tom Waits.
Read this:
Molly be damned smote Jimmy the Harp
With a horrid little pistol and a lariat
She’s goin to the bottom
And she’s goin down the drain
Said she wasn’t big enough to carry itShe got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowChoppity chop goes the axe in the woods
You gotta meet me by the fall down tree
Shovel of dirt upon a coffin lid
And I know they’ll come lookin for me boys
And I know they’ll come a-lookin for meGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowBig Jack Earl was 8’1
He stood in the road and he cried
He couldn’t make her love him
Couldn’t make her stay
But tell the good Lord that he triedGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowDusty trail from Atchison to Placerville
On the wreck of the Weaverville stage
Beaula fired on Beatty for a lemonade
I was stirring my brandy with a nail boys
Stirring my brandy with a nailGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowWell the rampaging sons of the widow James
Jack the cutter and the pock marked kid
Had to stand naked at the bottom
Of the cross
And tell the good lord what they did
Tell the good lord what they didGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowPunctuated birds on the power line
In a Studebaker with the Birdie Joe Joaks
I’m diggin all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boys
The hangman fumbles with the nooseGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plowPin your ear to the wisdom post
Pin your eye to the line
Never let the weeds get higher
Than the garden
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
Always keep a diamond in your mindGot to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Thank you XMMS, and Mr. Waits.
quit that shit
[Ben Folds Five/Army] As an experiment I loaded all 1927 of the mp3s that I have that are easily accessible into XMMS hit “Random” and then “Play”. (Yes this was instigated by farrisgoldstein‘s experience this morning.) Throughout [Radiohead/Nice Dream] this post you will see song titles in brackets to inform you of the song it is choosing for me.
All though I have known this for quite sometime, this morning it really hit me hard that I need to quit smoking. I woke up, [James Taylor - VH1 Story Tellers/Line 'Em Up] made my coffee, and started my morning like usual. However, when I got to the portion of my morning at which I smoke a cigarette (right after the coffee is finished as I am sitting down at the computer) I realized I was out of cigarettes.
Frantically I searched the apartment, knowing there had to be one forgotten cigarette left in a pack somewhere in this apartment. I find nothing. I put on some pants, throw on my shoes, grab my keys and run down to my truck to see if there are any in there. I search under the seats, in the glove box, in the back seat…. nothing. I go upstairs and search again, thinking maybe I missed a spot [Soul Coughing/Suzy Snowflake]. Still nothing.
I can feel a strong sense of worry and anxiety creeping up in me as I frantically pace about looking in the same places, now, over and over again. Eventually I realize that I am not going to find a cigarette. I take a deep breath and tell myself “It is no big deal. [Cake/Race Car Ya-Yas] I’ll just take my shower, and then grab a pack on the way to work.” I am okay with that.
I sit down at the computer and see my cup of coffee sitting there. Again I want a cigarette. [Ben Folds Five/Fair] I feel the anxiety rush through me again. I start looking again, clearly a sign of the insane.
As if that wasn’t low enough, I see a half-smoked cigarette in the ash tray. Was it from last night? The night before? Do I care? No. I smoke it. Then I feel better. Then I realize how disgusting this addiction is.
I really enjoy smoking. The social aspects; the psychological aspects of it. But not so much that I am willing to be like this. This is just pathetic. I don’t like knowing that something other than me has so much control over how I think and act. I need to quit.
The problem is, I know I need to quit, I know I should quit, and I hate being like this… but I don’t WANT to quit. Not down deep inside. And not REALLY wanting to quit, makes it incredibly hard to do so. [Weezer/Only In Dreams]
I don’t really know what to do, but I know I need to do something.