To Whom it May Concern:
Reverend Jim is a moron, and therefore left his cell phone at home today. If you would like to contact him, please call his work number. If you don't know his work number, ask someone who does. If you don't know anyone who does, ask James Earl Jones. If you don't know James Earl Jones, ask Jesus. If you don't know Jesus then the Reverend probably doesn't want to talk to you anyway.
