It's a david gray colored morning and he hasn't quite finished the third verse. Screaming of Babylon, I wonder if you'll be at the top of my stairs when I get home.
If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
I try to understand. I try to rationalize. I try to tell myself that things are not as they seem. But even when I confront the problem, things don't look any better, or any clearer. I have faith in the fact that I am not being lied to. Not only is there no real benefit to lying in this case, but I trust the source enough to know that it isn't happening this time around. So that leaves misunderstanding or misexplanation or a little bit of both. But that doesn't make not understanding any easier.
Parts of me feel that some of this is being left deliberately unclear… but I know that cannot be the case. So I am left with two options. Either I really don't understand despite plenty of effort from both parties to explain the situation, or I am once again left in circumstances where I care more, or have more invested, in the situation than the other party.
At this point there is nothing I can do but wait. I'm certainly not ready to give up and, unless some miraculous revelation is made, I doubt things are going to be made any clearer.
And all of this just makes me feel lonely, and empty, and afraid.
