revjim.net

I had a good time this weekend. Sarah came over Friday night and we watched Midsummer Night's Dream. I dozed off just before the big play at the end. I was pretty tired having got up early for work that morning, and then having cleaned all afternoon/evening instead of taking a nap like I should have.

Saturday I washed my truck (except for the markings put on it when it was towed, which the non-english-speaking car wash employees refused to even attempt to remove). Then, I went to Sarah's around 1:30pm to find that she was washing her car as well. I helped her wash windows and vacuum, and then we took it to the place where you pump quarters into the wall and wash the car yourself. I taught Sarah about car washing and how it doesn't really do a whole lot of good unless you use the scrubbing brush, as was made evident by the dirt on our towels when we dried it. Then we went back to her place and hung out until it was time to leave for Stars on Ice.

We took the Dallas Metro Rail from Mockingbird to the West End. Having never been on the rail before, I thought it would be fun. One thing I decided is this: Dallas' rail system is NOT made for commuting. Not only is the ticketing process a hassle, but the cars aren't big enough, long enough, or frequent enough to carry lots of people. Additionally, they have to stop and wait for cars to pass, like a bus does, which defeats the purpose in my eyes.

We ate at Joe's Crab Shack and then when to the American Airlines center for the show. The show was really good. I didn't know it before then, but I had seen much of it watching figure skating on TV, but it was still a lot of fun to be there to see it all. Sarah asked me to bring my camera to take pictures. Even though we had great seats, they really aren't suited to photography, and my lack of a tripod that evening meant I couldn't use a long lens to get closer. Additionally, the lighting wasn't well suited to the situation, so I was stuck taking 6 or 7 pictures for every ONE that I wanted, and hoping at least one of them came out. Sarah would smack my shoulder every time someone came out that I should photograph, and I tried my best to keep up, but out of the six rolls I spent, I think I'll be lucky if I got even ten good shots.

Sarah's brother, Chris, is a lot of fun. He was quiet, but when he did speak, he had something funny or interesting to say. I like people like that: people who are a bit reserved with themselves, and don't feel like they have to put on a comedy act every time they open their mouths.

After the show we went back to Sarah's and hung out for a while. I cut out around 12:30am though. I wasn't really tired, but I didn't want to overstay my welcome. I had considered calling Justin on my way home, to see if he wanted to hang out, but then decided to just go home.

Sunday I was pretty bored. I made a big breakfast, and watched staticy TV with an old pair of rabbit ears, still having no cable TV or internet access. When I got bored enough, I called Justin and went over to his place. Then he and Bonnie and I went to Half-Price books. I bought a new paper journal and we chit-chatted for a while and then went to Red Hot and Blue with Joel and Emily for dinner. We had a scratch off coupon that refunded an unknown percentage of our bill after we were ready to pay. We ended up getting 100%, which was very cool. I don't know why, but I was VERY thirsty that night. I ended up drinking 1.25 of the HUGE glasses of coke they give you, and half of a HUGE glass of water. Then we went back to Joel's and watched The Simpson's, amongst other shows. I went home at about 10:30pm and started getting ready for bed.

I wrote this in my paper journal last night:

I remember holding you like it was yesterday. I remember your back arched over my chest, your breath stuttered, your skin tight, and your legs wide. I remember the awe of my body and mind, pouring out like ink from a fountain pen. I remember your every breath, and every twitch. I remember every word you spoke. I remember the heat of your skin, and the scent of you, still on my hands the next day.

I wish it were always that way. The closeness. The openness. The freedom. But when days and nights like that came to a close, we could only hold them fresh in our minds and close to our hearts, unknowing when another time like that would dare to come again.

I missed you when we couldn't be together. And I missed you even more when we shared unopen seconds. And I miss you still.

I also wrote:

Even if these very words were to be made public, they would likely be re-read and edited before publication. It is unfortunate, I imagine, that they will never be read in this form, or in this medium.

Everyone is merely an edited version of themselves. The world, myself included, is afraid of the ridicule that some people will express when confronted with open thoughts and the occasional illegible or misspelled word.

And, of course, those words have been edited. Maybe the feelings have been turned down some, so as not to shock the children. Or maybe an event has been relocated in time, so that it doesn't hurt so much to think about it.