So I am going camping after all. The trip has turned into something a lot more fun, in my opinion, and we’ll be doing it much closer to home, which is a good thing. It is no longer a “no-girls-allowed” camping trip. Amanda and Julie and David are probably coming along with Lisa (), Mike (
I also talked to Brad (sn0w_cr4sh”) last night about the new bowling league. He doesn’t have any info yet and I really think I would miss hanging out with Sean and Mike every Monday, so I am going to do CORO again in Denton. The league starts Monday. Mike and I made a new deal to make Monday’s a bit easier on me with all the driving and whatnot. I am going to start bringing extra clothes and my bowling gear to work on Monday’s and just go straight up there after work.
I am starting to learn new things about myself and about relationships being with Sarah. This is a good thing although a painful lesson, at times. I am learning that I can’t be so eager to please all the time especially when I really want something else entirely. This leads to things being very one-sided. Not that things are one-sided with Sarah, but just that I can see how they could easily mature into that, which is not a good thing. I have to voice my opinion on where we go and what we do, as opposed to doing whatever I think will make the other person the happiest. I had always had this idealistic, utopian idea of how a relationship should work. One where I would do everything I could to make her happy, and she would do the same. This means, at the very worst, we would end up fighting about making each other happy… which is not so bad for a worse-case scenario. Unfortunately, while this seems to work very well in theory, it doesn’t work so well in real life. Either societal programming forbids people from actually acting in a constant supremely selfless manner, or, as individuals, we are not that ready to give up so much of our own desires and wants for the good of us as a couple or for the good of our respective partners. This came as a bit a of a let down to me, but I am learning to handle it.
Other than that, things are going well with Sarah. We get along well, we tend to always have something to talk about, despite or incredible differences in interests, and I think we both have a pretty good time together. We had another semi-lengthy conversation the other night about religion, which made me feel good as well. Additionally, she is taking big steps in the direction of accepting that we are together, and not putting so much concern in what other people think about how much time we spend together, or what we do while we’re together. Our relationship is also starting to move away from that childish “I like her” and “I like him” beginning that every relationship has into something more mature and meaningful. One where trust, and sacrifice, and feeling, and emotional investment are involved. Of course, we’re not 100% there yet, but we are moving along nicely, for which I am grateful.
Oh yeah. Dial-up internet access sucks. It took me all night (I kicked it off before I went to bed, and it had just finished when I woke up) to transfer a bunch of images up to a webserver for Elizabeth (foxyred”). Blah.
I gotta go get ready now. I’ve only got a little over an hour to get ready and get to Denton.