February 10th, 2002:

Well, it seems my post from yesterday has caused quite a bit of commotion. Conversations ranged from discussion of the treatment of prostitutes in GTA3 to the inability of Outback cooking staff to cook your steak as requested to the effects that words have on different people and the intentions of the authors of those words.

I would like to say something publicly and on the record.

If the words of the above mentioned post fostered a negative connotation of Sarah in your mind, that was not my intent. While there are different things that different people do all the time that I find annoying, upsetting, or distasteful, I have also found that posting about them here when they have to do with others that utilize this forum often leads to hurt feelings and miscommunication. Therefore, I decided long ago not to do such things. When I made my post yesterday, it was not my intent to cast a bad light on Sarah, her actions, or anything that she did or said that night. I merely meant to offer you, my readers, a few short stories regarding humorous or otherwise interesting events of the evening.

Perhaps I made poor word choices, and perhaps I shouldn’t have posted anything about those events at all. Perhaps I should refrain from posting anything other than the static facts regarding anyone that might someday pass by this forum.

Many people have offered their opinion on the matter and, although I still don’t see it, it is clear to me that Sarah is not alone in her view of what I wrote. In fact, many of the people whose opinions I truly value have stated that they also felt my post was harsh, and that it cast a negative light on Sarah.

After some indirect advice from Elizabeth (foxyred) I would like to state that I truly am sorry that what I wrote hurt Sarah’s feelings. Additionally, I am truly sorry that my words cast a negative shadow on her in the minds of other people. These things were not my intent.

I guess, in a way, I would have preferred that I was made aware of the possible connotations my words contained in a way other than through hurt feelings, MORE miscommunication and more drama then I care to partake of on a Saturday afternoon. But that is water under the bridge now, and there is nothing I can do about it.

The worst part about all of this is, I haven’t really learned anything about me or people in general. Even now, I don’t see the negative aspects of my words and therefore can use nothing from them in order to help myself learn how not to have this happen again. Therefore, I am stuck with a choice far on the left, and one far on the right, and no options in the middle. On the left, I can just not worry about it, wait for it to happen again, and hope that I learn from the next time. On the right side, I can stop posting humorous anecdotes from the things that happen in my life unless I am certain that none of the people involved will ever read the words I have written. I don’t like either solution.

So, thanks to all of you who commented publicly with your opinions, and thanks to all of you who commented to me privately. Your insight is valuable to me, and appreciated more than I have words to describe.

Party last night was fun.

Sarah decided not to come. I still don’t understand her reasons, but I don’t have to. If she doesn’t want to come, that is her choice. (And I really hope that this statement doesn’t, in anyway, prompt negative feelings in her, or anyone else regarding her. I am really just stating that she chose not to come so that those of you who didn’t know that (i.e. you weren’t at the party and you’re not Sarah or Me) will know as you continue to read the rest of this entry).

Lisa, Mike, Sean, Allison, and I all went to Razoo’s before hand for dinner. Allison and I tried very hard to inform our waitress that it was Lisa’s 21st birthday without Lisa knowing we did. I decided it would be best to write her a note, which I did complete with a drawing of the table to show where Lisa sat. Then Allison and I spent quite some time trying to get our waitress to notice that we had a note for her, without Lisa seeing. Eventually we did, but then Lisa realized it was getting late, so she and Allison left early to make sure that someone was at her place when people started showing up. Our waitress showed up with the birthday activities minutes after they left. Oh well, we tried.

The party was a lot of fun. Lots of good people, some good conversation, and fun times all around. I am fairly certain that Lisa, Amanda, and Julie will regret the fact that Mike has all three of their naked chests on video now…. but they’ll get over it. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all, and I have done MUCH more when completely sober. But, we’ll see. Heh.

I drank way too much. Lisa told me that, for her birthday, she’d like to see me drunk. I was already planning on spending the night there, so I figured why not. After about two hours, I was definitely drunk. That isn’t really a problem, for me, as being drunk is fun on occasion and I snap right out of it with no hang-over, because I know how to take care of myself. Well…. usually. This time, I succumbed to peer-pressure and continued to drink after I knew I should stop. As the night started winding down (around 4am) I started feeling dizzy and knew that I had to stop, which I did. Then we all went to bed shortly thereafter. I woke up before anyone else (around 8:30am) and knew I was not right. By 9:00am I was out the door and heading home.

As soon as I walked in the door I ran into the bathroom and took care of business. I had nothing in my stomach, so that made it hurt even more. Then I couldn’t see and couldn’t walk. I called Jaclyn for some getting rid of the morning after drunk feeling tips. At her suggestion, I took a hot shower and sat in the tub. This felt great, and I fell asleep… and then I woke up when the water was freezing cold and still falling on me. I laid in bed and tossed and turned for an eternity, still feeling horrible. Eventually, somehow, I fell asleep… which brings me to now.

I am feeling a lot better. I have a tiny headache, but nothing more than I have almost everyday. Given that I have had no caffeine today, I’m sure that my headache could be much much worse. My stomach still hurts, but more because it is empty and has been digesting itself for 8 hours now. I’m going to eat a few crackers here in a bit and make sure I can keep them down, but I am pretty sure I can.

Justin and Bonnie called telling me that lobster was on sale at Winn Dixie and wanted to know if I wanted to participate in having lobsters for dinner. After a little bit of thought, to make sure I would actually enjoy the meal, I decided to go for it. Then Justin called me back a little bit later to tell me that it was pre-cooked and then frozen lobster that was on sale. So now I’m not sure what we’re having for dinner. He said he’d call me back in a bit.

Joel called earlier today, to ask me if I wanted to get coffee tonight, to which I said, “sure”. Just prior to that, I was laying in bed thinking of what I should make for dinner. Yesterday, before I left for Razoo’s, I was watching “Mario eats Italy” on FoodTV, and ever since then, I have had a huge craving for some good pasta. If we don’t end up eating lobster tonight, that is certainly what I am making.