From: Sarah Pryce
To: daniel
Subject: Re: a revelation
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 09:33:47 -0800 (PST)
It makes me sad, too. And the only thing I have to
say to any of it is that we're just not compatible.··
I think a lot of what has happened over the last few
weeks is just in my head. But regardless of that, it
wouldn't be in my head if it weren't for us.·
So no more us.
sarah
Somehow, I had hoped I would either not get a response from her at all, or that she would at least attempt to describe to me how she feels, and what this means to her. I was prepared to live with either of those situations.
But, this response is something completely different and unexpected. It makes me feel as though she wanted it to happen, that she wanted us to be over with. And what makes me angry about that is the fact that I have spent a good chunk of time wanting to leave, and telling myself that I shouldn’t– partially for her sake, partially for mine, and partially for “us”.
This makes me feel like the good things that I thought I was walking away from this with are somehow now rendered invalid. Knowing that the things I have learned from this are based on actions that may have been generated in a false sense simply because she wanted out makes them somehow useless. And if I walk away from this with nothing, then I feel a great loss. For that means that my time, effort, tears, thoughts, heart-ache, worry, doubt, and compromise were all spent for nothing.