March 6th, 2002:

Toby is a bitch.

I’ve probably spent over $300 replacing things he’s chewed through: Brad’s mouse cord, Jaclyn’s mouse cord, the power supply cord to my dell laptop, my digital studio headphones, about three DC power supplies, a couple ethernet cables, a CDROM to soundcard cable (I have no clue what those are called), a IDE cable, one of my mice. And now… I find out that he’s chewed through the cord to my relatively expensive, USB, optical three-button plus scroll wheel trackball.

I’ve seen him do it. He bites and bites and bites as hard as he can and closes his eyes while he does it. I used to let him sit under my desk or on my monitor while I sat in front of the computer. Not any more.

This really pisses me off. I could understand him doing it if the wire was moving or wiggling like a toy (which explains why he went though so many mouse cords) but my trackball cord doesn’t move because the trackball doesn’t move. Grrrr.

So now I’m using a crappy, non-optical mouse without a mouse pad, and with barely enough room to move it which means I have to pick it up and move it to get more distance every time I want to go from one end of the screen to the other. It is very annoying and I am very displeased.

Setting: The speaker phone of someone in my office on a conference call.

Speaker: I think we need to monitor their backend activity.

Dear Nikon,

Please make a digital SLR camera using Foveon X3 technology with superior image quality. Please do this by next month, and please keep the price below $1500. I am a loyal Nikon customer, however, if someone beats you to the punch, I will change out my entire system.

Thank you.

Reverend Jim

My laundry is in the dryer. It should be done by 7:15am. I have exactly 38 minutes to drink coffee and read various Internet sites. Then, in the shower I go. This way, I should be out the door by 7:30 (or 7:45 at the very latest). That should get me to work between 8:00am and 8:30am, depending on traffic. If traffic is real bad, I’ll be late.

I’m a good little cog. I get to work on time and accomplish nothing, and that is all my employer asks of me.