April 15th, 2002:

My father’s rushing, pumping, thumping blood pulses through my veins. In time with my heart, yet somehow separate.

The strings and speckles of yesterday dance in my peripheral vision and scurry away as I turn my eyes to get a better look.

The tinglely, prickly, tickle of nothing, crawls across my back and down my legs, letting each of its ten thousand legs fall individually onto my skin.

I can feel you peering at me in the darkness. I can see you listening for my voice. I can hear you reaching out to grab my hand.

Umlaut has a 3:40 appointment for his butt worms. They’re going to take poop out of his butt and do some tests on it. Yum.

One exam: $34.00
One fecal matter test: $12.00
A cat without butt worms: Priceless

While I’m there I’ll make an appointment to get his little nutters chopped off.

Poor Umlaut.

To the best of my ability, I have recounted a portion of a conversation I just had with jaclyn on the phone:

Jaclyn: Guess what I made last night?

Me: Chocolate Chip Muffins?

Jaclyn: MONKEY!

Me: You posted about it in your LJ.

Jaclyn: Guess what I made last night?

Me: What?

Jaclyn: Chocolate Chip Muffins!

Me: Really?

Jaclyn: Yeah. And I only burned the bottoms. The tops were just fine.

Me: What kind of pan did you use?

Jaclyn: A muffin pan.

Me: Did you use the little paper things?

Jaclyn: No. I greased the bottom of the pan with butter.

Me: In a regular muffin pan?

Jaclyn: Yeah.

Me: Where did you get a muffin pan?

Jaclyn: In that box of dishes you brought over. I started going through it and I found two brand new muffin pans so I said, “I’m going to have to buy some muffins.”

Me: Did you unpack all of those dishes?

Jaclyn: YEAH!…….. no.

Me: You need to do that.

Jaclyn: I got everything I want out of there. I think.

Me: Well you should go through it again.

Jaclyn: There’s garbage in there.

Me: Some of it is junk, yeah, but there is some good stuff too.

Jaclyn: No. I started throwing garbage in it.

Me: Before you emptied it out?

Jaclyn: Yeah.

Me: Well you should take the garbage out of it and get the rest of the dishes.

Jaclyn: I ain’t no trash picker. I threw some raw Italian Sausage in there, and now Beanie keeps biting at the box.

Me: Where did you get Italian Sausage?

Jaclyn: I cleaned out my fridge.

Me: And threw it all in the dishes box?

Jaclyn: Yeah. In fact, I can see some silverware poking out of all the trash right now. With a bread crust sitting right on top of it. And, of course, I’m waiting for you to come over and take it downstairs for me.

Me: Of course.

I had a dream last night, that I can only remember bits and pieces of.

Ashley was the “girl” in this dream. She only closely resembled Ashley, but didn’t look exactly like her. Her name wasn’t even Ashley. But somehow, I knew it was Ashley. I’ve been doing good as far as forgetting her goes, and I think the only reason I dreamt of her is because we drove through “Ennis” on our way home.

In another part of the dream, there were a large number of people going to eat at a very nice Denny’s. Ashley had a boyfriend, so I did the nice thing by sitting as far away from her and him as I could. But, another girl sat down next to him, and she walked over to where I was and sat down beside me. I had a huge porfolio of photographs, mostly nudes, with me at the table and I was flipping through it’s pages. At one point, Ashley commented, “those are good,” and began our conversation.

I can only remember a few things from the conversation we had. First of all, I didn’t know Ashley. I’m pretty sure I was interested in her, but didn’t really know her at all. So a lot of the conversation was getting to know you type stuff. I also remember that, throughout the conversation, she would allude to being a Lesbian, and then say something that made me think she wasn’t. By the end of the conversation I had not determined if she was gay or straight.

There were a bunch of dancers at this Denny’s with us as well. I’m sure that was also brought into the dream because I was thinking of Ashley.

I remember one other part of the dream. We all had to order food, yet, for some reason, my menu only had six items on it, all of them costing above $60 and all of them not what I wanted. I wanted breakfast food, and there wasn’t any even on the menu. It wasn’t until the waitress came and started taking the orders of other people that I realized I was looking at the “Mother’s Day Dinner” menu.

The rest of the dream is only vaguely visible to me now. I remember running through a drainage ditch. I remember spying on people a lot, so I think maybe I was a detective or a investigator of some sort. I had a little jet fueled motorcycle that could sort-of fly as my method of transportation. It had some cool electronics on it that allowed me to track people. One of the people I was watching lived in a house that was about 80% glass.