revjim.net

I'm getting lunch. Now. At 2:30pm. Because I feel like it.
(man… I am CRANKY today. I'm not really sure why. Lack of sex, perhaps? Or the final realization that CSS is bullshit? I'll just blame it on Joel and his coffee pot neglect.)

I forget who it is on my friends list, I used to know, that has this as their user agent, but it cracks me up:
Otherzilla/5.0 (Browser statistics are meaningless, moron.)

It took me about 15-20 minutes to get this all worked out. It works in every browser. All of them. All of the ones that matter, anyway.
Netscape 4.x: check.
Mozilla 0.9.9: check.
IE 4: check.
IE 5: check.
IE 6: check.
Opera 6: check.
Netscape 6.x: check.
Some HTML. Some CSS. Some duct tape. Some Voodoo. I don't care anymore.
Eat me.

Fuck the W3C. Fuck Microsoft. Fuck Mozilla. Fuck Netscape. Fuck Opera. Fuck A List Apart. Fuck Jeffrey Zeldman. Fuck Glish. Fuck it all.
Here's why: So I decide to say screw CSS, and use nothing but straight-up, good, old-fashioned, HTML tables. You know, the way we used to do it on the punch cards. But I [...]

Another snippet from a conversation I had with Jaclyn this morning:
Jaclyn: Okay, I'm going to go have some Captain Crunch now.
[... more conversation proceeds ...]
Me: Okay, go have your Crunch Berries.
Jaclyn: No. Not Crunch Berries, just Crunch.
Me: No Berries?
Jaclyn: No.
Me: That's probably a good idea. Otherwise they'd be scattered all over your apartment like your [...]

I cannot make coffee this morning because the person (who will remain nameless) that borrowed my coffee pot is under the impression that it is up to the owner of an object to retrieve that object when it has been borrowed.
I'm going to Fry Street Fair this weekend. If everything goes as planned, I am [...]