May, 2002:

I have today and tomorrow left to do laundry, pack bags, work two days, see Rusted Root, and get about a million other little tiny things done. Ugh. If I manage to finish Jess’ gift before I actually get there, it’ll be a miracle.

I laid in bed for about 2 hours last night. Unable to sleep. Unable to move. Just waiting. I should have been doing laundry, because now I have nothing to wear to work.

heyjana is going to take Umlaut!!

She has a kitty (who she says can hold his own) and a dog. If for some reason, he just doesn’t work out, she has an Aunt that lives in the country with LOTS of land and he can be brought there, as a last resort.

Thank you, Jana. Thank you so much.

I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control. I will try to help. I will try to console. I will try to be supportive. However, I will not feel bad for things that are somehow expected of me that are outside of my control.

I know this should be a poll, but I’m hoping that by forcing you to leave comments, I’ll get more informative and thought-filled responses.

Umlaut has to go. This has been determined. All the no-kill and kill shelters that I have called are not accepting animals. I have called quite a few of them. The SPCA will take him (even though they have NOT returned my call). However, the SPCA will kill him. They will put him in the big adoption cage, see that he practically murders all the other animals, and they will take him out and kill him. Joel and Emily have suggested that I dump him off in a decent residential neighborhood near lots of trees and far away from a freeway, and let him fend for himself. Emily suggested an area she used to live in, and said that MANY of the people in that area feed stray cats, and even then, Umlaut still has all his claws, so he could hunt for himself if need be.

I don’t want to contribute to the stray animal problem. And I don’t want Umlaut to get wounded and suffer a long death. I also don’t want him to drag his half dead body on to the door step of someone else, and then have that family feel obligated to take care of him. I don’t want to dump him off on someone that doesn’t want him, as he was dumped off on Kari. I’ve tried my best to give him away, as did Kari, so I know that someone else in the same situation will have an equally difficult time.

I also don’t want to give him a death sentence by “surrendering” him to the SPCA. He deserves to live. He is a good cat. He is a GREAT cat. He just has problems.

So, I’m asking you. What should I do?

1) Bring Umlaut to the SPCA and risk a 99% chance of him being dead within a week. Safely, painlessly, dead.

2) Bring Umlaut to a nice area, drop him off, and run. I don’t know what the risks of survival are in this case.

Please help me. I don’t like either choice.

People always take the time to document the extraordinary. Via photography, journalism, poetry, art, or any other method of expression in use, those things that are extraordinary are documented with care and passion. However, there is very little focus on those mundane aspects of everyday life. I realized this yesterday as I was rummaging through boxes of old photographs with my parents when I noticed that I couldn’t find a single picture of the inside of my bedroom when we lived at a certain house. There was nothing spectacular about my bedroom. It was just a room. It contained three beds (one for each of my brothers, and one for myself) and a dresser and was littered with toys. I really wish I had a picture of my bedroom.

So, I’m undertaking a project, of sorts. I am going to attempt to document the mundane aspects of life in an interesting fashion. I’ll show you and talk about those things in life that people generally don’t talk about, either because they are too boring, or too common to care about. However, I will try to express them in a interesting light.

We’ll see how that goes.

Daniel says:
hi
says:
Hey baby
Daniel says:
you’re not in bed yet?
says:
No, I thought I would be tired, but I’m not yet.
Daniel says:
yay.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
what ya doing?
says:
Nothing.
Daniel says:
liar.
Daniel says:
what are you doing, really?
says:
Making your surprise
Daniel says:
aahhhhh
Daniel says:
stop that.
Daniel says:
right now.
Daniel says:
stop it.
Daniel says:
heh
says:
Shush you.
says:
It’s going to be super cute/.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I love you.
says:

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=sivatonight&itemid=228306

says:
I love you too.
Daniel says:
*smile8
Daniel says:
I saw that.
Daniel says:
You’re so cute.
says:
*smile*
says:
You still up for supper with my friends?
Daniel says:
as long as you keep your end of the deal.
says:
I’ll keep it, and then some.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
deal then.
says:
You’re going to be getting kisses left and right, when you least expect it.

would like to have a video and voice conversation with you. Do you want to Accept (Alt+T) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

Daniel says:
heh

You have accepted the request from to have a video and voice conversation.

says:
I got scared for a minute, you turned the cam on and I see Joel … I was going to say “Boy, you’ve changed in the last … 45 minutes.”
Daniel says:
hehehe
Daniel says:
ha.
Daniel says:
hi baby
says:
There you are.
Daniel says:
yeahy
Daniel says:
joel’s in here using my tuner…
Daniel says:
to fix a guitar he got from some guy in exchange for one “number 3 combo” at taco bell.
says:
Hehehe
Daniel says:
that’s what I said.
Daniel says:
stop that!
says:
My back is super sore tonight
says:
All on the left side
Daniel says:
can I help?
says:
If you were here, I would get you to give me a back massage whether you wanted to or not.
Daniel says:
I would do it… whether I wanted to or not.
Daniel says:
because..
Daniel says:
I would want to. there is no “not”.
Daniel says:
4 sleeps!
says:
*smile* There will be eventually … I like back massages, and will ask for them frequently.
Daniel says:
you’ll get them…
Daniel says:
it’s the least I can do..
Daniel says:
for all you give me.
says:
4 sleeps …. !!!!!!!!
says:
And soon it’ll be 3 sleeps …
Daniel says:
Yeah.
says:
And then 2 sleeps …
says:
And then 1 sleep …
Daniel says:
and then 1.
Daniel says:
and then!!!
says:
And then NO SLEEPS!
Daniel says:
KISSES!
says:
YAY!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel says:

Daniel says:
you are my everything.
Daniel says:
and always have been.
Daniel says:
even when I didn’t know it.
Daniel says:
if you look away..
says:
You’re going to make me cry, baby
Daniel says:
it makes me not want to say it any more.
Daniel says:
cry… that’s fine… but look at me when you do it.
Daniel says:
*smie*
Daniel says:
I love you.
says:
I love you.
Daniel says:
I want to kiss you.
Daniel says:
I wish you were sitting on my lap right now.
Daniel says:
with my arms wrapped around you…
says:
If I was there, I wouldn’t be sitting anywhere else.
Daniel says:
and I could kiss your neck…
Daniel says:
over and over…
Daniel says:
and tickle you when you least expected it.
Daniel says:
and whisper in your ear “I love you”
says:
Aaaah! No tickling! Because then I would have to squirm and turn to face you and cover you in kisses till you stopped.
Daniel says:
that would be perfect.
says:
I would be singing right along with the two of you if I was there
Daniel says:
joel sings…
Daniel says:
not so good
Daniel says:
he
Daniel says:
h
Daniel says:
but
Daniel says:
thats
Daniel says:
okay
Daniel says:
no one will tell him…
Daniel says:
I can’t sing with him very well…
Daniel says:
because…
Daniel says:
it throws me..
Daniel says:
but I try..
Daniel says:
and I do okay…
Daniel says:
sometimes.
Daniel says:
heh
Daniel says:
=)
Daniel says:
I love you.
says:
You sound very good.
Daniel says:
Thanks.
Daniel says:
heh
says:
It will take me a while to sing in front of you
Daniel says:
it’ll take me a while too…
Daniel says:
so… that’s okay.
Daniel says:
whatcha reading?
says:
You’ve already sang for me.
Daniel says:
heh
Daniel says:
that doesn’t count..
Daniel says:
I got to make sure it sounded okay before I did.
Daniel says:
I think I’m gonna read some of “the perks” for a bit.
Daniel says:
if that’s okay with you.
says:
Sure, go ahead
Daniel says:
holler at me if you need me.
says:
Deal.
Daniel says:
I’ll move the camera… so you can watch.
says:
Yay.
Daniel says:
hi baby.
Daniel says:
That’s a very good book so far.
Daniel says:
I like it a lot.
says:
I’m glad you do
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I’ll be right back beautiful. keep doing whatever you’re doing, don’t mind me.
Daniel says:
hi again.
says:
Surprise is done!
Daniel says:
all done!?
Daniel says:
wow.
says:
All done.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I love you baby.
says:
I love you too.
Daniel says:
I think I’m going to write for a bit, if that’s okay.
says:
Of course … you know, you don’t need to ask my permission about everything.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
hi beautiful.
says:
Hello my love.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I love you.
Daniel says:
deeply.
says:

http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?journal=sivatonight&itemid=228793

says:
I love you too. More that I could ever describe.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I love you too baby.
Daniel says:
more than they make words for.
Daniel says:
I really really love you.
Daniel says:
I wish you could sleep next to me tonight.
says:
Me too, baby. More than anything.
Daniel says:
4 sleeps.
says:
!!!!!
Daniel says:
then we can sleep in the same bed (and I’m not even going to say, if you still want to… because I know now, that you will)
says:
Good boy.
Daniel says:
you make me so happy baby.
says:
You make me happier than I have ever felt, ever.
Daniel says:
I can wait until I can hold you so close to me… so you will understand how much I love you.
says:
I think I understand now …
says:
You love me as much as I love you … which is one hell of a lot of love.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
yes.
Daniel says:
Here is something I wrote tonight… that you might enjoy reading…
Daniel says:
it isn’t that good, as when I write on paper… I write for me… and no one else… but I thought you might enjoy this:
Daniel says:
“Love is knowing, at the very core of who you are, that there is no other person you wuold rather come home to. There there is no other person you rather talk to about your day. That there is no other person you would rather hold close to you at night.”
says:
That’s exactly right …
Daniel says:
“Something about knowing she will be there makes me feel safe… and secure… and complete”
Daniel says:
“In her love… I feel infinite. Because of her, I am me. Without her, I am not myself. I am only possible because I am with her.”
says:
Baby, you are going to make me cry
Daniel says:
that’s okay.
Daniel says:
“I don’t even have to mention that ‘this’ will work… because there is no other way it could be. We are together. Always have been, and always will be.”
says:
I love you like crazy.
Daniel says:
I love you too. Like wildfire.
says:
Look at us.
Daniel says:
just get your ass over here so I can marry you, please.
says:
I have never been more sure that we will get married than at this very moment … it’s not a matter of “if”, it’s just a matter of “when”.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
“Not a single day has gone by that I have not fallen in love with her again. And always harder and deeper and stronger than the day before.”
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
look… I have ink on my fingers. I love it
says:
Heh, so do I.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
lemme see.
says:
You can’t really tell.
Daniel says:
bah
Daniel says:

Daniel says:
I just wanted to see your hands.
Daniel says:
WE are amazing.
says:
That’s the truth.
Daniel says:
but you’re more amazing than me.
Daniel says:

says:
Nuh uh!
Daniel says:
oooh…
Daniel says:
Justin came in here later… you were on cam, so you might have heard him… and said…
Daniel says:
“Daniel.. you can jerk it whenever you want, and you can be as loud as you want. I don’t care. ”
says:
No, I didn’t hear that.
Daniel says:
Heh.
says:
Silly Daniel.
Daniel says:
I love you.
says:
I love you more.
Daniel says:
No way.
says:
Yes way.
Daniel says:
nope.
Daniel says:
I don’t buy that.
says:
Yup … you have to buy it.
Daniel says:
I HAVE to?
Daniel says:
nope.
Daniel says:
I don’t think so.
Daniel says:
unless you’re going to make me.
says:
I am making you.
Daniel says:
how’s that?
says:
Ummm … I just am.
says:
So blah.
Daniel says:
hehe… you’re doing a bad job of it.
says:
Don’t make me give you the finger.
Daniel says:
please do.
Daniel says:

says:
I can’t.
Daniel says:
hehehe
says:
It’s one of those things I refuse to do to you. Because it’s mean.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
I love you.
says:
I love you too.
says:
I am going to get ready for bed
Daniel says:
Me too.
says:
My bed’s already made, so I just have to get undressed.
Daniel says:
I’ll watch
Daniel says:
mmmmm
says:
Owww.
Daniel says:
need a back rub?
says:
I need my back cracked
Daniel says:
I can do that too.
says:
Got it.
Daniel says:
heh
Daniel says:
sexy.
says:
Not quite.
Daniel says:
VERY sexy.
Daniel says:
look at you.
Daniel says:
are those thongs?
says:
Of course.
Daniel says:
they didn’t look it.
Daniel says:
so I had to ask.
says:
See?
Daniel says:
mmmm. yup.
Daniel says:
they are.
Daniel says:

says:
You just wanted to see my butt.
Daniel says:
ok. maybe.
says:
Cam on again tonight?
Daniel says:
if that’s okay with you.
says:
Of course, I love it
Daniel says:
yay.
Daniel says:
okay…
Daniel says:
all ready for bed.
says:
Me too
Daniel says:
i love you baby.
says:
I love you too.
Daniel says:
*smile*
Daniel says:
sweet dreams, my pretty yellow star.
says:
Good night, garbage man.
Daniel says:
wow. you were naked. *smile* and I love that you didn’t try to hide it.
The video and voice conversation

I should be asleep by now,
but I am mesmerized by you.

I am entranced,
waiting for you to toss
your head to one side
or breath deeper than usual.

With naked chest
and breast and soul,
each rise and fall
offers me peace.

I inhale and
The sweet smell of
the sweat of your sleep
draws me in.

You breathe in,
coaxing the fear and doubt
I have bottled inside
to escape from my lips.

Your breath offers its warmth.
Your weight urges me to
move closer still.

And I give in. Willingly.

I’ve been playing hair stylist all morning.

Still not happy with it. Too short. Not enough there. It’ll fill out in a couple of weeks, maybe I’ll like it more then.

I got an email from my baby this morning, and you didn’t. Neener.

I called all the Kill Shelters in Dallas. They are either not answering their phones, or are not taking animals. The SPCA was my last option. I called them. The girl that answered said that I needed to call “receiving” at 1:00pm and get instructions from them, but that she wanted me to know that if he was a violent cat, or didn’t get along well with the others, that he would probably “not be put up for adoption” (read: killed immediately).

*sigh*

Bonnie, Justin and I are going to the Farmer’s Market today, just for fun. I’ll take lots of pictures.

Last night, the power went out a lot, because of the storms. It busted my MBR, I think, becuase now my desktop machine wont boot. I’ll fix it later. I don’t feel like doing it right now.

I’m coming down with my once a year cold. What great timing. I’ve got more herbs in me that an Italian Lady’s spice rack. (or.. more herbs in me than in Jaclyn’s eye-watering hamburgers).