revjim.net

Melissa and I have always had this connection with one another. In part, it is because we hold of a lot of the same ideas and thoughts regarding relationships, how they work, how they should work, and how we wished they worked.

She left a comment to my recent post and I'd like to repeat it and my response here. It's my journal, I can do as I please.

Melissa:

Sometimes it really freaks me out when I read your journal and realize you've been plagiarizing my thoughts again.

I was just rereading this and remembering driving through the canyon with you last fall: "But Daniel, why doesn't he put the same things into the relationship that I do?" You and me, trying to figure out why the rest of the world doesn't approach things the same way we do.

I keep trying to tell myself, as I did on this day: I cannot be upset because others do not structure their relationships the same way I structure mine.

It hasn't started working yet.

Me:

Yes. I remember that day in the canyon very well. Magical is the first word that comes to mind.
And you're right. I shouldn't be upset because others don't approach a relationship like I do. But, I feel that if I change the way I approach a relationship, then I'm not giving like I should/could/need to be giving… and the relationship doesn't feel like a relationship. It feels like something is missing. And I can't make other people approach them the way that I do. So what do I do? I guess if you knew, you would of told me.

You and me… we're fucked. Plain and simple.

Am I crazy? Is it unrealistic and idealistic of me to consider that someone, somewhere might be as crazy as I am? Am I even more crazy to hope and dream that one of these crazy people might actually share a romantic connection and be that one person with whom I have that amazing eternal bond that started before this life, and will continue on forever?

Or maybe I need to lose my utopian outlook and accept that some people do things in different ways than I do. Maybe I just need to accept that just because someone isn't giving in the ways that I give, or in the ways that I want them to give, doesn't mean that person isn't giving me all they have. And it doesn't mean that person isn't committed. And it doesn't mean that person doesn't love me.

I got one of those annoying forwarded emails today. You know, the ones you normally see the subject line of, or the first few forwarding headers and immediately add that person to your "Trash" list so that you won't be bothered with this kind of crap again. You know, the ones that tell you if you don't forward it to 30,000 people within the next 14.23 seconds the world will blow up and everyone will blame you. Yeah. I got one of those.

Normally, I delete it before I even read it. But the sender of this one was kind enough to clear off most of the forwarding headers, so it almost appeared to be a real email at first. So I started reading it. As they all are, it was filled with sappy, nonsensical, inapplicable junk like, "Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile" and "No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry".

But there was one line in this email that actually stuck; actually made sense:

Just because someone doesn't love you the way that you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

The email says if I send this to 8 people I will have good luck for two years. It also says that if I don't do it within 5 minutes, my luck will run out. Since I took several hours to do it, and only reproduced 1/3 of it's contents, but sent it to well over 8 people, what does that get me?