revjim.net

I was trapped in that spot in my brain that exists between being asleep and being awake. I had spent the last two hours telling Ani DiFranco that I just needed 15 more minutes of sleep and she complied everytime. I think I need a more reistant snooze button. I was half aware of the warm sun pouring in my bedroom window making my comforter less and less comfortable. I could just barely hear the sounds of Ani DiFranco singing "As Is" with determination for the 9th time this morning. I could almost feel my cat kneeding knots into my stomach trying to wake me.

With every second that went by, all the secrets of life, love, and the universe were becoming more and more clear. I knew how I got here. I knew where I was going. I knew why I needed Jess so badly. I knew why some people are assholes. I knew why Jaclyn has to go to Washington. I knew why the rain pays me more attention than other people. I knew how to quit smoking. Everything was clear; crystal clear.

Way off in the distance I heard a voice, very faint, that said, "Hey!"

I turned to see it, but couldn't, and went back to absorbing these secrets.

"Hey!"

I started to lose it. This new knowledge was leaving me as quickly as it came.

"Hey!" the voice said again.

I half cracked my eyes, which were staring out my window through my eyelids, "Hmm?"

"Are you playing hookie?" the voice asked, as more secrets fell from my ears into giant piles of letters and numbers on the ground that surounded my feet.

"No. Hmm? What? What time is it?" I asked, much more awake now.

"8:30," Justin said, as the last of the unknown letters of the alphabet fell to the ground and disappeared into the piles.

"Fuck," I said, opening my eyes completely.

I could still feel the presence of this knowledge surging through the folds of my brain. I knew what it was I had known, but it had been lost.

"Shit," I said, trying to lift my feet to get out bed.

By the time I stood up, I couldn't even remember what it was I had known, but only that I knew it, and that it was all lost again.