the world is smiling at me
July 1st, 2002It seems like the whole world is smiling at me.
I had a nice talk with Emily last night about Jess and women and the difference between girls and boys. I really appreciated her listening to me and trying to help me understand. I guess I've never really had a serious talk with Emily before now, and I'm very grateful that I did.
Yesterday, I spent the entire day with most all of my favorite people.
I spent the morning on the phone with Jess. Talking to her makes me long for the days that I can watch her lips move as she speaks. I could have talked to her for hours and hours, but she reminded me that I had made plans for the day and was already running late from talking to her.
Around lunch, I met up with Brad, Morgan and Zoe for some apartment hunting. We got dicked around a bunch, but it really didn't matter to me that much, because I already have a great place ready for me to move into it, and I had fun just goofing off with them as we waited, and trying to sneak into the place afterward.
Then, in the earlier parts of the afternoon, Joel, Emily, Wes, Laura, Jaclyn, Brad, Morgan, Zoe, Ilija, Rob, Cynthia, Dan, Bonnie, Gracie and I all surprised Justin at his new place for his birthday. Something made me very happy about the entire planning phases of that surprise. Brad followed me to a gas station, where we waited for Jaclyn. Then they both followed me to Starbucks. Then we hopped in Brad's car and went to the grocery store to get a cake and some cupcakes. Jaclyn and I did the cupcake skip down the aisles of the grocery store. Then we went back to the grocery store where three more cars with the rest of the group were waiting. Then we all drove in a single file line in the afternoon sun to Justin's new place for the surprise party. It made me think of a scene from the movie "Swingers", only much more peaceful, and much less devious.
The birthday party was fun. Lots of talking and joking and laughing.
After the party, Jaclyn followed me over to the new apartment complex that I was considering canceling out of my other deal to live in. She and I walked in and out of the little courtyards and talked about how much Jess and I would like it. It started pouring rain. Hard. Within five minutes of rain the rain gutters from the apartment complex were shooting out water like a high pressure hose. Jaclyn and I ran from courtyard to court yard trying not to get soaked and failing miserably. She followed me on the freeway until we got where she knew where she was, signaled to me that she was okay, and then we went our separate ways. I realized how much I am really going to miss Jaclyn when she's gone. I thought about our entire relationship, from the very beginning, until now, and it made me very happy and sad all at the same time.
Then I came home and sat around, tired and bored, waiting for Jess to get home from work so I could talk to her at least a little before I went to bed. It was getting later and later and I was cursing her place of employment under my breath because she wasn't supposed to have worked that late. Suddenly, Jess sends me three small words: "I did it". Jess told her Dad about moving here all on her own. I am so very proud of her. I'd told her from the first day that I knew that she could do it, I just didn't realize that she would do it that quickly and without much pushing from me. I imagined it would take her a few weeks (at least) past the original date she decided to say something. It took only one day. Her dad took it pretty well. He said he knew it was coming; that he could just tell. He told her that he thought she was making a bad choice, and that he wished she wouldn't, but that he understood, and that he would support her. He told her that he thought I was a "nice young man" and that he wasn't worried about that at all. He also mentioned that he wished she would stay for one more year of school there, and that she should leave telling her mom up to him.
After that, we talked about our apartment situation. She very rationally and thoughtfully helped me decide that we shouldn't bother getting this new place and losing $400 on the deposit on our current place and spending the extra money every month. She explained that, not only is extra money a good thing to have, especially when we are first starting out, and neither of us really has any idea of how much it's going to cost for us both to live. She also explained that the small inconveniences this new place would bring just made things more complicated. Sure, the new place is a lot more fun and "cool", but, as long as we are together we'll be happy. And, by moving into this new place, we miss out on a lot of the peacefulness and normalness that are afforded us by the place we have now. It made me very happy to have her input and to feel like we were working through this as a team.
Then we talked about her moving here, and when she was going to do it. She mentioned May a couple of times again, even though it has been ages (it seems) since May was even a consideration any longer. I got a little bit scared that she was again, living for her parents and not herself, and that, she was going to stay another year there just because they wanted her to, with no real gain or advantage because of it. But then she made everything better by telling me that she would be here soon, and that she just didn't know when, which means that May is possibly taking a back seat to August, or September or January. That made me very happy.
This morning, I woke up before my alarm went off, and just laid in bed and waited for it. When it finally did, I put on a pot of coffee and opened my email to find one from one of the only people of the male gender that I honestly wish I could spend more time with. It made me feel really good just to hear from him, let alone to find out why he was writing. I haven't written back yet, but I need to do that.
Things look really good right now.
More than anything, I am exited about Jess coming here. I really hope it turns out to be August. That'll give me just enough time to get everything into our apartment in a haphazard fashion before she gets here so that we can set it all up together and start living what promises to be the most amazing life two people have ever led together.
What an amazing way to start July.
