What if you woke up this morning and, either on the news, in the news paper, via Internet resources, or using whatever method you use to stay up on current events you heard the following:
Scientists have completed a study involving masturbation and have determined that masturbation provokes genital cancer. The Surgeon General, along with health authorities in many other countries, are suggesting that individuals cease these activities at once. While persons performing these activities exerience only mild effects now (fatigue, shortness-of-breath, decreased stamina, loss of appitite, mild weight loss) the effect of continued, habitual masturbation is serious. Each time you masturbate, your are shortening your life by 34 minutes (on average). Consult your physician for medications and techniques that can help you quit.
Not everyone uses masturbation in a habitual manner. But I know many of you do. You masturbate when you wake up every morning. You masturbate during your shower. You masturbate right before bed. You masturbate before a job interview. You masturbate before a hot date. You masturbate when you are bored. You masturbate when you are stressed. You masturbate to relieve tension. Imagine, for a moment, the doctors around the world began stating that masturbation causes genital cancer. Would you quit? Could you quit? I’m sure plenty of you will say, “yes” and mean it. But I know that many others of you will have a hard time saying, “yes”, and even then, have a hard time following through.
Obviously, I am attempting to relay the difficulties of quitting smoking to those who are not smokers. Obviously this isn’t true. Obviously, you can touch yourself all you want and enjoy it, because studies actually show that in many cases, masturbation is healthy. Additionally, if you aren’t a habitual masturbator (in other words, you use masturbation only as foreplay) then this wont make much sense to you. However, as I realized yesterday while going insane trying not to smoke a cigarette, masturbation is habitual for many people. So maybe this will help some of you understand. Of course, this isn’t a perfect example. Most habitual masturbators don’t masturbate as often as smokers smoke. Additionally, the chemical addiction of smoking is not addressed here at all. But at least it might bring you one step closer to understanding.
If you are a habitual masturbator, and you think you could quit cold-turkey: try it. Go a week without so much as touching yourself aside from a quick 15 second wash in the shower, and breifly during… bathroom duties. Don’t cheat. You’ll know if you do. If at the end of that week you find yourself saying, “one more day. I can go just one more day,” then you lose… because if you were REALLY quitting, you’d have to go forever. And, those of you who have the luxury of having a semi-permanent sexual partner… increasing the amount of sex you have to compensate for not masturbation is like smoking pot instead of cigarettes. If you are trying this experiment, that would be cheating.
I choose not to smoke today. My reason today, is because I love Jess. And that, to me, is the best reason of all.