revjim.net

September 11th, 2002:

365 days

One year ago today, aside from mentioning an attempt to give blood, I didn’t say much about anything. I had missed my alarm clock and was laying asleep in bed when Justin called me to tell me that two planes had run into the Twin Towers in New York City. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel, or that I didn’t care. I was disgusted by the media, and, in many ways, ashamed to be an American. It wasn’t until the next day that I really said anything.

I was disgusted at the way American’s were lashing out at the Muslim members of our nation because they were afraid and ignorant. I couldn’t stand that every convenience store on every little corner in every little town had a stack of American Flag stickers for sale for $1. It saddened me that I actually felt the need to go into a private conference room with my two Pakistani employees and ask that they be careful going home and coming to work, and to stay undercover for a little while and to call me if they needed anything at all. I hated feeling so much hatred in America.

Someone stapled a paper American Flag to the outside of my cube wall on that day. I didn’t put it there, and I haven’t taken it down.

I admire the heroism of the fire fighters and police men who put in many long hard hours trying to save human lives. But I admire them for the heroic things they do everyday. I am sadden by the loss of human life, as much blood was shed on that day and the days to follow. But I am saddened by the pointless loss of human life, regardless of when it occurs or in what numbers. I admire the patriotism in the faces of the American people. But that patriotism has since faded, the flags that wave from our car antennas are tattered and torn, and the stickers that were plastered on our windshields have begun fading and peeling away.

On this day, one year ago, I was shocked. I was scared. I was worried. I was horrified. I was saddened. I felt a need to be close to my family and friends just as I’m sure many other Americans (and non-Americans) did on that day. This event was tragic; that’s obvious. If a pilot had accidentally steered a plane into a building causing it’s destruction and the collapse of that building and the death of thousands of people, the event would have been tragic, this is true. But our nation would not have been affected as it was. What made this event so horrible, was the fear and vulnerability that it placed in the hearts and minds of the American people. The uncertainty regarding our security that found its way into our thoughts in those days and weeks and months following this day.

Yes, lives were lost. Yes, prominent features of our nation’s face were destroyed. And these are sad things. But, in reality, many, many other things have occurred throughout the history of America and the world that deserve equal respect, and thoughtfulness. Yet these dates never receive such reflection because they are no longer fresh on the minds of a nation with our attention span.

If you feel you must be reflective today, then I suggest other reasons for reflection. Think of your loved ones. Think of those people that you really care about, and yet haven’t had a chance to see in a while. Think of that friend that you’ve been fighting with for two years over something silly and stupid, because both of you have been too proud to say “I’m sorry”. Think of the pack of gum you stole from the corner store last week thinking that it’s only one pack and isn’t that big of a deal. Think about your mother, whom you may not have spoken to in several months. Think about your girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives. Think about friends and family that have passed away, regardless of the reason. Think about love and friendship. Think about togetherness. Call up an old friend. Go out for coffee. Talk to a stranger.

Mourn the loss of human life. Mourn the loss of the men and women who fought the fires and cleared the rubble. Mourn the loss of soldiers who fought, and still fight, in the events that followed this day. And then remember that we have much to be thankful for.

If you’ve learned ANYTHING from these past 365 days, it should be that life, friendships, and love are precious things that should never, ever be taken for granted.

four amazing days

It’s been a crazy few days.

Jess got here, safe and sound, on Saturday. I won’t bore you with an account of all the things that we did, I’ll just give you a brief rundown: had sammiches for lunch; saw Brad and Morgan; got coffee in Deep Ellum; went to a few tattoo shops; went through Greenville and Lakewood; went to Celestial Park; went to Texadelphia for Lunch; drove around Keller; went to my parents house and had a small welcome-to-Texas party for Jess; had coffee with Brad, Morgan, Zoe, Joel and Emily; had TGI Friday’s for lunch; went to Target, Old Navy, and Half-Priced Books; went grocery shopping; made shrimp and pasta for dinner; had Macaroni and Cheese for lunch; went to Sundance Square; went to Barnes and Noble; went to the Stockyards; went to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens; made breakfast for dinner; rented Mallrats; made cookies and popcorn and watched the movie with Brad, Morgan, and Zoe; went for a walk by the canal; laid on the ground and looked at the stars by the mustangs.

Needless to say, I’ve had an amazing time, and, even after just four days, I am finding it harder and harder to imagine how it was that I lived before she was here. Right now, as I type these very words, she’s at home, asleep in our bed. This morning, in between getting ready for work, I laid beside her in bed and watched her chest rise and fall under the blankets of our bed as she slept. And, before I left for work, I woke her to steal a few kisses to hopefully last me until lunch time.

I’m going home for lunch, and then back to work until 5pm. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to make it all day knowing that, less than a mile down the road, there is a beautiful and amazing woman with lips and kisses that belong to only me.