revjim.net

There are four lights: "One year ago today, my (now former) manager told me to shut down my weblog and remove all traces of it from my server. He tried to convince me that the Internet was too small to mix the professional and the personal."

I remember reading Mark's "Addiction is…" over one year ago. I remember how closely I related to what he wrote. I remember thinking about my own addictions as I read his words over and over again. I remember thinking that, in a lot of ways, Mark and I were alike. Sure, we had different technical soapboxes, the intensity and subject of our addictions varied, and we lived entirely different lives, really, but I remember, in that moment, reading his words and feeling every word he wrote. I remember thinking, "If he can do it, so can I". I remember tossing them around in my head for days, and weeks, afterward. I remember bookmarking his post, and reading it almost weekly. I remember considering posting it in my LiveJournal, but then opting not to because that meant too much of a commitment. I remember admiring him for what he had done. I remember despising myself because I couldn't do it as easily as he did.

There was a flaw in my thought process. I didn't realize it until today as I read his post again, even though his words stated it so clearly, and even though, for sometime, it was written underneath the title of his website on every single page: "a lot of effort went into making this effortless". Mark didn't do it easily, and it wont be easy for me, either. That doesn't mean it isn't possible.

Thank you, Mark, for being intelligent but not belligerent, for being true to yourself, and for your every one of your words.