Let the records show that on this day, Sunday, October thirteenth, in the year of our Lord two thousand and two, Miss Jess, of Candian nationality, proclaimed, and I quote, “It’s too fuckin’ cold.” Let the record also show that it is approximately 54°F outside, with a wind chill factor 51°F (a mere 12°C, 11°C with the wind chill factor).
I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette wearing nothing but a pair of pants. Jess decided to join me wearing pants and a shirt. During the middle of my first cigarette she proclaimed, “I need my parka”. And as I lit my second cigarette she stated, “It’s too fucking cold, I’m going inside.”