October 13th, 2002:

“it’s too fuckin’ cold”

Let the records show that on this day, Sunday, October thirteenth, in the year of our Lord two thousand and two, Miss Jess, of Candian nationality, proclaimed, and I quote, “It’s too fuckin’ cold.” Let the record also show that it is approximately 54°F outside, with a wind chill factor 51°F (a mere 12°C, 11°C with the wind chill factor).

I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette wearing nothing but a pair of pants. Jess decided to join me wearing pants and a shirt. During the middle of my first cigarette she proclaimed, “I need my parka”. And as I lit my second cigarette she stated, “It’s too fucking cold, I’m going inside.”