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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />Two Sundays ago, Jess and I got up early and headed into Dallas for a photo-shoot that had been arranged a few weeks prior. Little did I know, this would be one of the longest and most ridiculous days in time. I'm thankful Jess was there, or I would have gone crazy.
The whole thing was arranged a few weeks prior. I was contacted by a model who wanted to do some TFP. For those of you not familiar with photo lingo, TFP stands for "Time for Prints". It's an arrangement between and model and a photographer in which, usually, the photographer provides equipment, film, developing and prints, and the model provides themselves, clothing and makeup. It's generally used by models who are building portfolios (and therefore are willing to work without pay) and photographers who are either doing the same or have new equipment and/or techniques to test. In my case, I just love the art of it so much that I'm willing to do it, regardless of the fact that I have no intent (at least currently) of building an actual portfolio and soliciting paid work.
As usual, I asked the model for a few shots from her current portfolio so I could see what she looked like and if it would even be worth my while. While the images themselves weren't all that great, the model had a good look and I decided that it would be worth my time and agreed.
Shortly thereafter I discovered that the model in the photographs wasn't the person who was seeking my assistance. This person was a "fashion designer", and would be contacting a model to wear her clothing and for me to shoot. This designer was looking to build a portfolio from scratch because, in a few months, she would be moving to LA to "make it big".
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />Let me clarify another point before I get too far. A fashion designer is, generally, someone who designs clothing. They, too, need prints of their work in order to show off what they have created. While most fashion designers who are building a portfolio do their own photography work (because the quality of the images isn't nearly as important as the look of the clothing, in this case) I thought it would be fun to try this from a different angle.
I let her know that I had never worked with a fashion designer before, and that this would be something new for me. She said that was okay and also informed me that she would be getting a hair stylist and a make-up artist for the shoot.
A little while later she informed me that there would be 5 models, 2 hair stylists, a make-up artist and herself. I let her know right away that I couldn't possibly provide prints to all of these people as I would be looking at costs in excess of $300. She told me that, since I would be shooting digital, they would accept a CD of work in place of actual prints. I informed her that I was a little bit reluctant to work with so many people at once, but she said that it wouldn't be difficult, that she had done this many times before, and that she would make sure everything went smoothly. So… it was on.
About 2 weeks before the shoot, the designer, Jess, and I went out on a location scout. Again, so that you understand, a location scout is when a photographer and various others drive/walk around looking for areas that would make good background for a shoot. We spent a few hours driving and walking around.
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />The designer informed me that she used to be a photography major. This made me feel even better because I knew that she would understand more about lighting and what was possible and what wasn't when working without a studio.
She brought along some magazine clippings to show me what kind of images she was interested in creating, which I appreciated. However, most of the images were impossible in our situation because they were either obviously studio shots, involved too much prop work for us to attain, or, for whatever reason couldn't be done. I told her this, and she was okay with that.
A few days later we had a dinner meeting with most of the models. This is where things started to go wrong. I expected that the designer would ask the models to bring a few pieces of essential clothing — underwear, tank tops, etc — as well as some of their own make-up. However, I didn't except that she would ask them to bring large portions of their wardrobes. I thought she was a designer? I thought she was designing the clothing? However, since she was far more experienced than me in this regard, I didn't say anything.
So that leaves us at two Sundays ago.
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />The morning of the shoot, we arrived just after 9am as we were told to do. The designer said that it would take her about 1 hour to get everyone ready and, since they were getting there at 8am, I didn't need to show up until 9. Apparently, she had gotten there late.
She had brought with her a entire rack of clothing. One of the male models was also the make-up artist. Neither of her hair stylists showed up. The other male model was sitting on the couch because he had nothing better to do. The other three girls were putting on clothing from the rack. After they dressed, they would show us and we would informally say whether we liked the outfit or not. Meanwhile, the make-up artist (who was VERY good, by the way) was applying make-up to one of the girls. Jess agreed to help by doing hair.
She wasn't ready until after 11am. Since I had lots of time on my hands, I went for a walk and realized there was no real need to go to our intended location as, the place we were at offered lots of different backgrounds and good location. However, the designer insisted that we go to our intended location, so we headed out.
The longest day ever was well underway. I'll spare you all the details and just give the highlights.
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />The designer, who, on the day of the shoot, did little of anything but get in the way and make outrageous demands of people, spent the entire day breathing down my neck. Every time the shutter would open she was right there behind me wanting to see the image on the camera's LCD. Despite my warnings, she insisted on shooting in locations with bad light (too harsh, too high, too direct). She corrected my every move and suggested a "better angle" for every shot I took. At one point, I got so frustrated that I just handed her the camera. She asked if the exposure was right and I said I didn't know. Then she said that she didn't know how to work a digital camera and gave it back to me. I told her I had a film camera in my bag that I would be happy to let her use, but she said that she couldn't do exposure. Then, later in the day, frustrated again, I handed her my camera and told her the exposure was fine and to go ahead and shoot. She snapped a few and I asked her if she liked them any better to which she responded, "I don't know" and then continued to take the same shot over and over again.
There was one model who spent 8 hours doing nothing, because the designer was too busy watching someone else get dressed to allow her to get into make-up.
At another point in the shoot, one of the male models pointed out that the model I was shooting had a small piece of her shirt sticking out under her belt. The designer snapped back, "I know. I'm the designer. I see everything." Suuuuuuuuure.
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />She insisted on vertical shots for everything. Yet, when I forced the images to be vertical, she complained about the empty space at the top and the bottom of the images. At one point, she had a model on a park bench on her hands and knees. She wanted the entire park bench and the model in the shot, so, of course, I turned the camera horizontal. She asked if I could do it vertically. What? How?
She insisted on shooting at a playground at White Rock lake at 5pm on a Sunday. The place was packed with children. She had thought that, somehow, she could clear the playground and yet get a few kids (and their parents) to agree to being in the shots with one of the models. Needless to say, this didn't work out.
The day went on and on. Towards the end, I didn't even care about what the image looked like, because I knew she'd say it wasn't right no matter what I did. So, I just pushed the shutter release every now and then and hoped for a tornado or an earthquake or a very well aimed boulder to fall from the sky.
The models were all great. One was a little too uninvolved for my taste, but, at least she knew her role and stuck to it. She didn't breathe down my neck, she didn't make outlandish requests, she didn't tell me how to do my job. One of the male models was kind and funny, and helped make the situation much better than it was. The other two female models were very friendly and very easy to work with when I managed to have them to myself without the designer standing right behind me.
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style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />When the shoot was over, I told the designer I would get the images to her as soon as I could. Within the course of a week she contacted me several times to ask me where they were. Did she not understand that I had almost 200 images to adjust, correct, and prepare? I eventually got so fed up with her asking that I wrote a small script to batch correct all of them in the same manner, and then manually corrected those that were just obviously bad.
Two nights ago I uploaded the images to a web-server and emailed her the URL. Thanks to my server logs I saw that, within minutes, she was browsing the images. I signed on to MSN messenger to talk to her, and, a few minutes after I did, she signed off without saying a word, yet continued to browse the images. I never heard from her. Not even an simple email saying "I hate all of these".
I'm afraid because, according to her, she's got two other photographers lined up. I wish there was some way I could find them and contact them and tell them to run for their lives. The only reason I didn't walk away after the first 30 minutes was because I knew there were 5 other people there ready and willing to work, and I didn't want everyone to go home with nothing.
style="height: 200px; width: 133px; border: 0px;" />I can't say the day was a total loss. I did get some really good images. But, if she asked me to do it again, I'd decline without a second thought.
There's a moral to this story. First of all, watch the size of your head: the bigger it gets, the more people you'll piss off, especially when it has no reason to be that large at all. Secondly, if you claim to be a fashion designer, design something, even if it's utter shit. You'll get a lot more respect from people that way. And finally, if you ask someone to do a job, let them do it. If you don't think they are doing a good job, tell them so. If they don't get any better, tell them you'll find someone else. But don't stand over them constantly and tell them how to do something that you can't do yourself.
