Greetings, my flock:
It seems that many members of our congregation are under the impression that PHP5, the second coming of the son of our lord, will save their souls. Well, I'm here to tell you otherwise. PHP5 promises to be faster than ever before. It will allow new levels of reflection and error handling never before seen in our world (and constantly thrown in our faces by the heathens that follow the language of Java). It promotes true object oriented programming with abstraction. It allows private, protected and public variables and methods within classes. It even allows methods to expect certain object types as parameters. It implements a common name for constructors, and destrcutors.
My sheep, clearly PHP5 will make our lives easier. But, this does not, in any way, absolve us of our sins. The cardnial sins of PHP programming are known well to all of you. You know what you need to do and the second coming of our lord does not change this. PHP5 will not make the general act of programming any easier. It may help you find your way in some specific tasks, but, in the end, you've still got to do the work.
Let not the sinners among you convince you otherwise. I anticipate PHP5 with hapiness and joy in my heart. I know of the fruits it will bring. However, I also know that many of you will fall into the trap of saying, "When the lord comes, all will be right. When the lord comes, my pain will be over. When the lord comes, life will be easy. When the lord comes, I will no longer be tempted to sin." My children, these things are not true. Those who would say such things mean only to plant Satan's seed in your heart. Let not your heart wander from the lord, and hold close to you his truths and his commandments. Do not put off today's labor on the promise of a better tomorrow. The lord will come soon, yes. But the lazy, the sinful, and the thoughtless will not be admitted into his kingdom. Free your hearts and obey his commandments.
Love,
Reverend Jim
