revjim.net

I realize now that I've become so consumed with the technical aspect of my creative work, that the creativity has almost all been lost. As grateful as I am to have had this realization this early, it's still difficult to swallow. More than anything, I think to myself, "okay, now that I know what went wrong… how am I going to get from here to there?".

There are many types of Photography in the world. Some of it is purely clinical; purely technical. In these instances, it doesn't matter how moving the image is, as long as you photographed what you were supposed to photograph. Crime scene, catalog product, and paparatzi photographers and even, to some extent, fashion and wedding photographers all fall into this category. If the images are artistic and moving, that's great but it isn't the point. If you have the image of the mangled body, mountain bike, celebrity with her top off, new dress, or bride and groom… then you've done your job. Technical matters are important, but creativity only plays a small role.

That isn't the type of work I want to do. My goal is an image that speaks and moves and flows and feels. And for that, while technical expertise is still important, passion for the subject is the most important element. Self-expression is an element, of course, but not in the same way that a fiction author or a poet would use it. The photographers expression is shown, first, in choice of subject and, secondly, in the depiction of that subject. If one were to say, "I'm passionate about writing instruments so I'm going to photograph them", that wouldn't quite be enough. That person would end up with lots of boring pictures of pens and pencils and maybe even an inkbottle every now and then. That passion needs to be expressed. Instead of showing what one is passionate about, the focus needs to be placed on *why* they have that passion in the first place. Again, this is where the self-expression comes into play.

So what are my passions? And, of those, which are photographable? And, of those, which are readily available to me? And of those, which are small enough and manageable enough be able to study constantly, analyze perpetually, and manipulate endlessly? I love the mountains. And they are quite photographable. But not really readily available given that I live in Dallas, TX. And not exactly manageable as, being that it's difficult enough to find a mountain, I won't really have the time to sit in front of it for hours and wait for the right light. If I had more money, more free time, or lived in a different part of the world, this would be entirely feasible. But for me, right now, it isn't.

When I first started photographing people, I sought out to study them. I wanted to dig deep into the depths of the souls of the people I photographed. I wanted to analyze every aspect of their being. I wanted to appreciate them, and respect them, and honor them by showing something about them, in utter clarity, that isn't so obvious when you just pass that person on the street or call them on the phone. I wanted my images to be deeply personal.

I tried. I did. But, the funny thing is, for whatever reason, I didn't realize it would be this hard. I didn't realize that, for the most part, people weren't going to hand me this information on a plate. I would dig as much as I could, which often took a lot of work, and eventually land on something that I thought was interesting. And then, foolishly, I'd stop. That was it. I found it. Time to shoot. And, when my images didn't speak they way I wanted them to, I chaulked it up to equipment, lighting, inexperience, circumstances, and difficult models. I bought more equipment, better lighting, read more books, assured better circumstances, and found better models. The images… they still sucked.

So now, I know the beginning and I know the end. Can I get from here to there?