Today is the two month anniversary of my non-smoker status. As much as I enjoy your approval, congratulations, and gifts, I don't need them. I've got plenty of other reasons to feel good about it. Like that fact there are over 1800 fewer cigarettes in my body. Or the fact that my wallet is almost $350 thicker. Or maybe that I have almost 14 more days of life that I can use looking into my wife's beautiful eyes.
Through a strange chain of events, I landed on "a journal entry":http://revjim.net/item/8412/ I wrote over three years ago on September 6th, 2001 entitled "quit that shit":http://revjim.net/item/8412/. Since I'm sure most of you won't bother to read it, I'll quote the important parts here for you:
bq. I got to the portion of my morning at which I smoke a cigarette [and] I realized I was out of cigarettes. Frantically I searched the apartment, knowing there had to be one forgotten cigarette left in a pack somewhere. I find nothing. I put on some pants, throw on my shoes, grab my keys and run down to my truck to see if there are any in there. I search under the seats, in the glove box, in the back seat…. nothing. I go upstairs and search again, thinking maybe I missed a spot. Still nothing. I can feel a strong sense of worry and anxiety creeping up in me as I frantically pace about looking in the same places, now, over and over again. Eventually I realize that I am not going to find a cigarette. I take a deep breath and tell myself "It is no big deal. I'll just take my shower, and then grab a pack on the way to work." I am okay with that. I sit down at the computer and see my cup of coffee sitting there. Again I want a cigarette. I feel the anxiety rush through me again. I start looking again, clearly a sign of the insane. As if that wasn't low enough, I see a half-smoked cigarette in the ash tray. Was it from last night? The night before? Do I care? No. I smoke it. Then I feel better. Then I realize how disgusting this addiction is.
That was one day. One time. One event. Over three years ago. Event's like that were hardly a rare occurrence. I am so grateful to no longer be a slave to that demon. Even if I never got anything else out of being a non-smoker, not ever having another day like that one makes it well worth it.
