listen up!
June 23rd, 2005I realized today that, most people spend more time with something to say ready to escape their lips than they do with the desire to listen to each other and learn.
We all have stories we want to tell. We have things we've accomplished that we're proud of, or situations that are funny or interesting that we want to tell to make us appear to be more likable. We all eagerly prepare these stories and begin spouting them off at the first sign of interest, sometimes, even forcefully. At the same time, we know that no one wants to listen to us if we don't listen to them. So, we pretend to be interested in what the other person has to say just long enough to lure them in to listening to us. This terrible game of waiting for our own turn amounts to a lot of people talking, but very few people actually hearing what we have to say.
The next time you find yourself among friends or family, instead of rattling off the story of your latest adventure, *listen* for a while. And, when someone finishes, instead of anticipating their next breath so you can cram a few of your own syllables down their ear canals, probe for more details, offer advise on the situation, or reflect on what they've shared with you. You just might learn something and make them feel good in the process.
The next time you feel like you have something to say, consider, just for a second, *why* you are saying it. If it's merely an interesting or humorous story that you are telling for it's own sake, just tell a little of it. Your listener will probe you for more information if they are actually interested and listening. Chances are, they aren't, and you're just wasting your breath.
