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Online Calendaring Solution

I'm looking for an Online Calendaring Solution. I don't mind being required to host it myself as long as it'll run on the Unix platform. I also don't mind using a hosted solution. I am willing to pay for the right solution.

These are the things I need:
* recurring events
* reminders
* private events
* public events
* the ability to break a single recurrence out of a regularly recurring event (i.e. if I have a recurring event for "AT WORK" from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday, I want to be able to remove a single day from the pattern when I have a day off)
* all day events
* multi-day events

Other things that I'd like:
* RSS feeds
* "busy only" events (where other users simply see me as busy, but don't know why)
* Events that are visible only to certain users
* Invites/RSVPs
* The ability for other users to alter my calendar (with permission)
* iCal/vCal style import export for use with a desktop application
* The ability for other users to request or book available time
* event categories
* multiple calendars

I've tried, "Yahoo! Calendar":http://calendar.yahoo.com/. It's not bad. The one feature that it's really missing is being able to break a single day out of a recurring event. It also doesn't have multi-day events. It has a few quirks too like, instead of specifying a start time and an end time, you specify a start time and a duration. But it has "busy only" events, will allow other users to edit my calendar, handles invites, and many more of the "nice to have" features. If only it didn't have those faults.

I've also looked at "RSSCalendar":http://rsscalendar.com/. It's recurring events are retarded. It also doesn't allow you to break out a single day from a recurring event, nor does it allow multi-day events.

Any other recommendations? Please. I'm almost desperate.

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