These pages have been a bit void of most of the details of my personal life lately. I can explain.
You see, we have a shelf and screen style bird feeder on the 2nd floor balcony of our house just in front of the window here by my desk. Due to so much construction in the area, the birds are quite displaced and often hungry, so our little feeder attracts quite a crowd. House finches, mostly, but I didn’t know that until I looked it up. Most of them are females. Every now and then, though, a male will join them with his brilliant red chest and face. They sing and eat and sing and eat. Sometimes, if the wind blows hard and scatters seed about the balcony, several of them will hop down and pick up the seed. At one time, there were as many as 15 birds, all eating and singing. Sometimes they stand on the chairs just in front of the window. The look in and see me, but that doesn’t seem to bother them. I could sit and watch them for hours and hours without interruption.
I’ve decided that watching these birds is much more productive, less ego-bruising, and makes me much happier, than the personal attacks, anonymous comments, jealousy induced criticism, misunderstanding, self-centered agendas, and hatred that I get when I share with the public at large.
I’m still here. I still have a lot to say. I still want to share my life with people who care about me, and learn about live and love and friendship from others. I just need to learn to take the hatred less personally.
To help the matter, I’ve started screening all comments. Additionally, I’ve started responding to a lot comments via email instead of publicly, and, in many cases, don’t bother to respond at all. A comment is merely a response to my writing, after all, and rarely does that require a response in return. With these things in place, when someone says or does something stupid, irrelevant, off-topic, or insulting, I no longer feel like I have to respond and defend myself with an argument. Most of the time these people are only after an argument anyway and have not the desire, the capacity, nor the human element required to engage in actual conversation,
I’m getting there slowly. I’m not really in any rush though. I’ve got these lovely birds, after all. They really are great. Come by some time and I’ll show you.
well, I’ve missed reading your posts, but I can certainly understand where you’re coming from on this.
For those of us who live waaaay off from you, you could take pictures of the pretty birds for us. Hint, hint! :)
This entry makes me sad– I guess it just seems uncharacteristically resigned. People suck and I’m sorry that it affects you personally. I think the attacking-hating types spew that stuff all over the place, not considering who’s in the line of fire, you know? They don’t do that because of you, or who you are or what you’ve done– it’s just what they do. It’s hard to disengage when you’re on the receiving end, though.
I came across this photo site yesterday and thought of you– there are some neat portraits, especially in the ‘taken’ set. http://www.darkshapesprowl.com/index.php
It has been like sixteen years since we’ve seen you & Jess. Do you have Friday evening plans?
OH! Since I’m rambling– I tried to listen to the show last night and couldn’t ever connect. I don’t know what the problem was, but thought I’d let you know that I tried. :)
*@Pamela*: I think I just might do that. It’s difficult, because when birds feed, they also poop a lot. So, to get a nice picture, I have to clean everything, fill the feeder, then wait for them to come back. I’ll give it a shot this weekend though, just for you. :)
*@Erica*: Thanks for the link. As you mention the “taken” set, I am reminded of how much I’d like to begin to combine my studio work with outdoor location work. I have reflectors and a willing assistant. I just need a better fill flash (this weekend I hope) and a few willing models. :)