Today marks the third anniversary of the day Jessica and I stood before our friends and family and publicly committed to that which we already felt deep within our hearts and minds: we would be with each other, through everything, until the end of time. *Three Years*. Not once during the course of these years have I regretted or doubted that decision.
To the outside eye, however, that might be hard to believe. I have many intelligent, attractive, successful, female friends. Some of them are single and others are a bit unhappy in their current situations. I have beautiful women in my home on a regular basis, shedding their clothing in front of my camera. I am still close with several of my ex-girlfriends. I flirt a lot — sometimes because it's fun, sometimes because it gets me a better photograph, sometimes, because I really, really mean it. On top of that, I am an open person and, with like minded people, can find myself very emotionally, mentally, and physically close to those that I care about or feel connected to.
With all of these things in place, and more, I can understand how one might believe that I might tempted on a regular basis. I'll be honest: I am. Everyday I give in to the those temptations when I fall in love with my wife all over again. Her smile is enough to brighten my entire day. She constantly shows me her loyalty, patience, confidence, and trustworthiness. Her mind continues to challenge me and teach me. Her heart warms me during even the coldest times. She can calm me down with a single word, and excite me with a single touch. She understands me when I'm excited, mumbling, or sobbing. And there is no place on Earth that feels safer than being in her arms.
I love my wife deeply and I cherish every bit of our relationship together. That doesn't mean that I don't find other women attractive, want more friends, seek new travels, enjoy new experiences, and desire MORE of everything in my life. But in all of those things, I want her to be a part of them. I love her with all of my heart and above all else in my life, she comes first. She knows this and I know that she feels the same way about me. We give each other the freedom to enjoy the life that we live with one another and the lives we live apart, because we both know that we come first in each others lives and we have no reason to worry that our love will ever stray.
Sometimes I am reminded of all of the trouble we went through to be together and all of the pain we felt when we were apart. I am reminded of all of the doubts that were shared with me by friends and family. I am reminded of what we went through thrown into the less than ideal situation of learning about each other while living together. When I recall all of this, sometimes I ask myself it was worth it. You better believe it was and I'd do it all over again.
I am very committed to my wife. Not just because I made that commitment to her and I am a man of my word. Not just because I love her. Not just because this is where I am now. Because she is everything that I need, everything that I want, and everything I have ever desired. If I were given the option to start a life anywhere in the world that I wanted, with anyone I could choose with no ill effect or negative consequences, I can't think of anyone I would want by my side more than her (though I'm not so sure I'd choose to live in Texas).
I am ever grateful to my wife for caring for me, desiring me, accepting me, understanding me, trusting me, and loving me. These last three years have been the most incredible years of my life and I look forward to even better years to come.
I love you, Jessica, now and forever, gros comme le ceil, like crazy.
