revjim.net

July 19th, 2006:

moral infidelity

I’m really shaken up by something my wife has done and I’m not quite sure what to do. She doesn’t know that I know yet and I don’t know if I should say something to her and give her a chance to explain (like there is any way to explain this), just pretend it never happened (thought I don’t know how I would do that), or just run away as far as I can.

The other day I thought I would surprise my wife by leaving work early and making it home in time to catch her at home on her lunch break. As I climbed up the stairs and peered into the open door of our shared office I saw something I shouldn’t have. Forgive me if this is too graphic, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I saw her sitting at her desk, pant-less, her legs spread, and her feet pressed firmly against the desks edge. She had one hand between her legs and was gasping in breaths of passion.

This alone wasn’t cause for concern. Hell, I’d been in a similar position myself on more than one occasion. If she had been on the phone with some lucky caller, in a heavy cybersex session with an online buddy, or looking at her favorite porn site I would have smiled. If she had managed to convince that cute girl from the bank to come home with her and was now sharing this moment of intimacy with her, I’d have been happy for her, if not a bit jealous that I wasn’t there with them both. Even if the nice Mexican guy across the street had finally caught her eye and was getting ready to give it to her good, I’d have understood. Even if she was taking care of business with my worst enemy, I’d have found some way to get past that.

But, the truth was much, much worse. I was not prepared for what I saw on her computer monitor. I gasped out loud at the sight of it but, apparently she was too deeply involved with herself and the filth before her that she didn’t even notice. I silently crept out of the house trying not to vomit until I made it a few miles down the street.

Later that night, after she was asleep I checked her computer and found what she was looking at. I can’t bring myself to even describe this disgusting display but I feel that, if you don’t understand the nature of it, you will not understand why I’m so disturbed. So, unfortunately, all I can do is offer it to you to view. Please watch as much of it as you can stand and then offer me any advice you might have. I’m open to any suggestion at all.

This is VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY not safe for work, children, or, just about anyone except filthy, disgusting, disturbed perverts (of which, my wife apparently is one).

“Click Here to view”:http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836 (and I’m sorry to make you watch this).

support the things you love

Last night Jess and I stopped by “Art Six”:http://www.myspace.com/artsixcoffee for a cup of coffee. This place has everything that I look for in a coffee house. First and foremost, it makes good coffee. It also has nice cozy places to sit, lots of tables, lots of corners to hide in with a book, and lots of open space to be social with whomever else happens to be there. There’s always a friendly face behind the counter, art on the walls, and, fairly often, live music. If you’ve never been, give me a call and I’ll personally take you there and buy you your first cup.

This time, pouring out from the back room, was the beautiful, soulful voice of “Arielle Silver”:http://www.ariellesilver.com/ (on “MySpace”:http://www.myspace.com/ariellesilver) accompanied by rich, fluid bass and percussion with subtlety and finesse, something sure to make the misses a very happy woman. I’d never heard of them before but I’m glad I found them there. The poetic lyrics, complicated melodies, and tight rhythm give them polished sound of “real musicians” yet leave them with enough of a raw edge to keep them interesting. Give them a listen, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. They are playing tonight at the “Standards and Pours”:http://www.standardandpours.com/ coffee house and are currently “touring all over the US”:http://www.ariellesilver.com/calendar.html. Find out when they’ll be near you and check them out.

In this morning’s dose of the world wide web, I learned that David Hobby, photographer for the Baltimore Sun and creator and author of “Strobist”:http://strobist.com/, is feeling the pain of “putting in too much personal time for not nearly enough money”:http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/07/strobists-next-phase.html, something I’m all too familiar with.

For the photographers in my readership, “Strobist”:http://strobist.com/ is a website that encourages the use of small, inexpensive, off-camera flashes and simple light modifiers in a manual fashion to allow lit photography to become a often used tool in every photographers repertoire. David offers “well written instruction”:http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/03/lighting-101.html, provides a wide range of “well explained examples”:http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/03/on-assignment.html, gives his opinion on a big selection of “related gear”:http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/04/gear-articles-and-reviews.html and is holding a “lighting boot camp”:http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/06/lighting-boot-camp-archive-page.html where he encourages his readers, assignment after assignment, to take the flashes off their cameras and make some incredible images. Check it out! It’ll change the way you look at flash photography.

Unfortunately for this budding new blogger, David is learning that most people these days expect handouts and a free ride and are rarely willing to part with their own money, time, or resources when they don’t have to. Despite thousands of new readers all scraping together equipment based on David’s simple suggestions and millions of hits to his website from all parts of the world, he’s making very little from his affiliate banners, product links, and advertising. Why? Because people are too lazy to be bothered to use a link from David’s site to buy the products he recommends.

I make it a point to use links from David’s site (or other sites like his that I support) even when purchasing products he didn’t recommend because it’s important to me to have such a valuable resource (and others like it) continue to exist. It’s important to me that a place like Art Six exists that, even when it’s a longer drive than other places for me, I still make the effort to get out there and I always leave a good tip. While I’m grateful that Arielle Silver was able to gain some exposure last night, it really made me sad to see so many people enjoying this music and yet so few willing to drop a few bucks in the tip jar or buy a CD. Jess and I bought a CD and a small tip, though it doesn’t even cover their hotel room for the evening, let alone gas, food, equipment and a decent wage for the three of them.

If you don’t support the things you love they will go away.