August 15th, 2006:

There are a few down sides to coming home after 5 days of travelling alone and deciding to relax and not leave the house for the next 24 hours.

First of all, not only had I been very alone for 5 days, but I opted to be alone for another day after that. Silly.

Secondly, since I cleared the house of food before I left, there’s not much to eat. So, combined with yesterday’s terrible lunch in Barnett, TX, and last night’s dinner of popcorn, I had a feast of more popcorn for breakfast this morning, and that’s it. I could go to the grocery store in order to buy something for dinner, but, there’s a lot of stuff we need and I hate wasting a trip, so, first I’d have to make a list, then drive there, then do all the shopping, then drive all the way back, then put all the stuff away. By the time I’m done, it’ll be at least 2 hours and I’d still have to make dinner. So, the only sensible option is to eat out (again) and then do grocery shopping either later tonight or tomorrow morning. The only problem is, eating out means eating out alone again and, for me, the only way to make being alone feel even more lonely is to be alone in a place where people rarely go alone.

But, hungry I am, and eat I must, and out there, food there is. I don’t know why I’m writing like Yoda.

I’m home a day early since I cut my first trip to Mexico VERY short and decided that I didn’t need the previously planned second trip. I was going to spend the extra day in the Hill Country, but I found myself over-heated and, therefore, very tired after hiking so much in the heat and humidity. I should have spent an extra day in the Guadalupe Mountains.

Over the course of 5 days I drove over 2,500 miles, took over 1,000 images, and walked over 15 miles. I don’t have any idea how many feet I climbed but I can tell you that 15 miles isn’t a lot of walking for me and my legs HURT.

I’m filled with mixed emotions about the adventure. I feel very experienced and yet utterly clueless. I feel overjoyed, and yet very sad. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, and yet have so much more to learn. More than a photographic adventure, it was a time for introspection, overcoming fears, and redefining what living means. Despite the bad, frustrating, angry, and lonely moments I went through, if given the option, I’d do it all over again.

I went through so many emotions that it’s impossible to do them justice in a short paragraph or two, so I’m going to compile all of my thoughts and lessons into a larger work. I’m not trained or experienced as a writer, but I need to do this for me, and I need to do this in a way that it can be read by others. So, I’m sure it’ll be putting it somewhere where you can find it. Perhaps I’ll put it all up at once, one big monolith of experience to digest as you see fit. Or, perhaps I’ll publish it in a serial format, one article at a time. I’ll let you know. Again, it’s really for me and no one else. But, it needs to be public and polished for me to get the most out of it. That’s just the way I am.