revjim.net

I almost forgot to mention to you the highlight of last Thursday afternoon. It was, by far, the redneck in the pickup truck that decided that people shouldn't be allowed to go places that he isn't going.

I was driving in the right lane as I approached the driveway to an establishment I was travelling to. So, I slowed down and prepared to turn right from the right lane. Though I'm not 100% certain, I'll admit that it's possible that I didn't use my blinker. But blinkers aren't really for advertising what you're doing to the people behind you unless you're changing lanes. In this case, blinkers are for oncoming and crossing traffic. As far as the guy behind me is concerned, whether I'm turning, stopping, or dodging school children; I'm slowing down. Therefore, he either needs to go around me, or slow down too. Well, he didn't like that idea.

As soon as I applied pressure to my brake pedal I could see his mouth form the words "come on asshole" as both hands let go of the steering wheel to display two vulgar digits. At this point I may have accidentally went a little slower when turning into the drive way than was really needed. But, hey, I'm a cautious guy.

So he followed me into the parking lot. He pulled up along the side of me rolled down his window and started cussing at me. When I paid no attention to him, he started weaving as though he was going to ram into the side of my car. When this didn't phase me he got really pissed. I pulled into a space and he pulled around as if to block my travel. I got out of my car and never even glanced at him as he shouted, "Does that piece of shit have blinkers and brake lights you fuckin' faggot? You hear me you little piece of shit?". And then, as I got further and further from him, "Hey, cock sucker! I'm talking to you."

Calling my perfectly functional, less than 5 years old, entirely intact vehicle a "piece of shit" was pretty funny. Or, assuming that his claims about my vehicle were founded in reality, the fact that anyone driving a piece of shit car without blinkers and brake lights must be both a "faggot" and a "cock suckers" was pretty amusing too. But the absolute best part was watching him squeal away in the parking lot all pissed off and looking like a bad ass only to slam on the breaks when he finally realized there was a huge unavoidable pot hole in his path.