The Internet, "a series of tubes":http://youtube.com/watch?v=SIn_J_jxf-o&search=net%20neutrality, is a steady source of information for most people, of which I am no exception. When I come across things that I find interesting or useful, I tend to keep track of them thinking that, some day, I'll include them in an article that I write here. However, over time, many of those links go unused and pile up. So, I've decided to clean out the stack in this article. What follows is a series of loosely related (if at all) topics and a plethora of links. So put on your "looks like I'm interested face":http://sweetjelly.com/blog/index.php?id=P880, read on, and click everything.
It seems that a lot of people have more time on their hands than I do. As much as I'd like to "clean my keyboard":http://www.thetechzone.com/?m=show&id=431&page=1 or "reenact a scene from my favorite video game":http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3117004324521250241&q=marimba, I've got a lot going on lately. So it's going to be a while before I start "growing my own furniture":http://www.grown-furniture.co.uk/.
However, if I'd have known that I could "divide by zero":http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire/content/articles/2006/12/06/divide_zero_feature.shtml simply by inventing a new word, I'd have done it a long time ago. I wonder what other problems can be solved by inventing words. Why not try it? My word is…. "temporalpoiesis". Will it work? "Fuck":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqtgfjkB6Pg no.
Lot's of people have great ideas on how to create more time. "The four day work week":http://alistapart.com/articles/fourdayweek, for instance, sounds great. The catch is, it doesn't work unless you work for yourself. Some how I just don't think my boss will buy it when I say, "but sir, I worked extra hard the first four days, I deserve the fifth one off!".
Realistically though, I think Best Buy has the right idea with their "Results Only Work Environment":http://biz.yahoo.com/bizwk/061201/b4013001.html?.v=1. I've always argued that the output matters more than the time spent doing it. Just because I'm faster at doing something or capable of doing more things at once doesn't mean that I should be required to do more work. Today's technology makes working this way even more of a reality. Opponents say that ROWEs don't work with managers and above because their results are not measurable. I say that they are. In fact, I say that measuring them is the only way to truly know the value of a manager. There are two factors every manager should be measured on: employee satisfaction and employee results. If your employees are doing well and they are happy then you must be doing a good job.
If I had an endless source of time to waste, I'd waste it in style. But first, "let's all take a moment to lower our standards":http://sweetjelly.com/blog/index.php?id=P891.
Ok then.
First, I'd write up a new marriage contract to "keep that wife of mine in control":http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html. Then, as she brought me plate after plate of "Chicken Fried Bacon":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfbTO0GlONU, I'd sit around watching episodes of Good Eats with the baddest ass of all bad asses, Alton Brown. "He doesn't reduce sauces, he demoralizes them":http://www.penismightier.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18785 (and he could totally kick Chuck Norris' ass). After having my fill of swine and cream gravy, I'd "sharpen my knives":http://www.instructables.com/id/EMS5GZG7B1EP287Z8L/, dress up like my "favorite captain":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8Tm5tQltTQ, and go out on a one man crusade to "mess with Texas":http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/2BenjaminSumlin.html and eradicate "the Potato Bug":http://www.potatobugs.com/.
No, really. With an endless amount of free time, there's so many things I'd do. I'd read "all of the banned books":http://books.google.com/googlebooks/banned/. I'd pack a bag ("ONE bag only":http://www.onebag.com/) and travel the world in search of different cultures, interesting landscapes, and like-minded people. I'd buy a "big ass lens":http://www.zeiss.com/c12567a8003b58b9/Contents-Frame/8baac109cb80bddfc12571e100393a1b just so I could photograph the moon. I'd study the world's religions and find out, once and for all, which is right: "Islam or Christianity":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgHfq0epSJg. We know the Atheists are wrong, they are "so deluded":http://atheistdelusion.cf.huffingtonpost.com/. And I've always had my doubts about Christianity but, apparently, "there are a lot of things in the bible that they never taught me in church":http://www.churchhopping.com/ten-verses-never-preached-on/. Maybe the answer really is "Bunny Rabbits, Satan, Cheese and Milk":http://www.comfortstand.com/catalog/003/.
One this is for certain though. If I had an endless amount of free time, I wouldn't be here.
