Wesley Snipes says “he didn’t fraudulently claim nearly $12 million in tax refunds”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/12/08/people.wesleysnipes.ap/index.html. I look forward to the day that the IRS wouldn’t laugh the second I even thought about attempting such a claim. “Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had a drink in a week”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/12/12/people.lindsaylohan.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories. Fucking rich people! They don’t need alcohol to cope with the atrocities of life like us plain folk. “Nicole Richie was allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/12/11/people.nicolerichie.ap/index.html. While this case is still under investigation, preliminary studies show it to be preferred over her starring in another episode of any television program. And finally, “Angelina just wanted Brad’s babies”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/12/12/people.jolie.reut/index.html and never had any intent of marrying him. Pitt is keeping his mouth shut hoping to get away with it.
Follow this closely. Peyton Strickland, along with two of his friends, allegedly beat a college student and took the two PlayStation 3 gaming consoles he had just purchased and then fled to Peyton’s house. Police raided the house with a battering ram and weapons drawn. Christopher Long, a sheriff’s deputy, opened fire during the raid “killing the unarmed teenager”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/04/teen.shot.ap/index.html and his dog. Long, the police office, was fired from the department and Strickland’s family filed charges against him for the murder of their son. The murder charge was dismissed. However, the jury foreman came forward yesterday and indicated to the court that the dismissal was unintended due to an error he made when filling out the indictment form. Apparently, “he checked ‘yes’ when he meant to check ‘no’”. Um, Mr Foreman… I think I see your chads hanging.
More on the James Kim story: Authorities have confirmed that the road on which they were travelling should not have been open in the first place. The metal gate usually restricting passage on this road “had it’s lock cut by Vandals”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/08/missing.family.ap/index.html. In even more news, a mapping error has been corrected and it is now evident that James Kim did not walk 10 miles as originally stated, but instead “walked 16 miles”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/11/missing.family.ap/index.html before dying of exposure.
If you thought finding your friends in little Georgia towns like “Dewy Rose”, “Experiment”, “Retreat”, “Wooster” and “Chattoogaville” or any of 488 other communities was hard, it’s even harder now that “they’ve been removed from the official map”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/08/map.deletions.ap/index.html. If I lived in one of these towns, I think I’d remake our local maps of Georgia to not include Atlanta. It’ll be awfully hard to send in those State Income taxes with only a non-existent city to send them to.
According to Merriam-Webster, the “word of the year for 2006 is Truthiness”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/12/09/word.year.ap/index.html. Stephen Colbert, inventor of the word, commented stating “Though I’m no fan of reference books and their fact-based agendas, I am a fan of anyone who chooses to honor me”.
An confused, excommunicated Roman Catholic archbishop is “calling celibacy outdated”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/10/archbishop.marriage.ap/index.html as he installs married priests as bishops. I’ve never believed that celibacy was effective at ensuring the attention and commitment of the followers of any religion. And reform is a good thing. However, this seems to be a bit like one congressman single-handedly starting socialism within the United States: it just isn’t going to happen. When your beliefs differ this greatly from what is “common” or “accepted”, and most people either disagree with you or don’t feel your cause is worth fighting for, you’re better of finding a new group to join.
