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January 5th, 2007:

2006: a survey

Jan 5th, 2007
by Jim Reverend.
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2006 is over. Confess what you did.

PERSONAL
Stayed single/taken: Very taken. Yes.

Got your first kiss: um, that was a LONG time ago.

Kissed someone new: unfortunately, no.

Made-out in/on a car: I don’t think so. Maybe.

Kissed in the snow: I don’t think I saw any snow this year.

Kissed in the rain: Probably.

Had your heart broken: Many times.

Broke someone else’s heart: Possibly.

Had a stalker: I wish

Have/had a good relationship with someone: Absolutely.

Questioned your sexual orientation: Yes… vertical or horizontal is always a question to be pondered.

Came out of the closet: Certainly. That’s where all the clothes are.

Gotten pregnant: now THAT would be cool.

Gotten someone else pregnant: not that I know of.

Had an abortion: Nope.

Gotten married: No, but I witnessed 4 others and participated in two of them.

Had a divorce: No.

Had a gay marriage: My marriage is totally gay.

Kissed someone of the same sex: nope.

Dated someone you’ll never forget: every day.

Asked someone out: Several times.

Broke a promise: Never.

Broke up with someone you STILL loved/liked: nope.

Done something you’ve regretted: too many things.

Lost your true love: no.

Lost faith in love: a little.

Kissed under mistletoe: nope.

Cried after hearing a song: many, many times. “Collide” by Howie Day and “I Loved Her First” by Heartland being the main culprits.

Got a promotion: nope

Got a pay raise: every year

Changed jobs: Official job, no. But my job duties change daily.

Lost your job: nope.

Quit your job: thought about it, does that count?

Dated a co-worker: nope.

Dated your boss: ew

Dated your boss’ daughter/son: now that’s just asking for it.

Met one teacher you really like: Using “teacher” loosely, yes.

Met one teacher you really hated: Again, very loosely, yes.

Did something you were proud of: made some major life changes and planned out several more. This is surely something to be proud of.

Discovered a new talent: I find new things I am capable of on a regular basis.

Proved yourself an idiot: of course.

Embarrassed yourself in front of others: oh yes.

Were involved in something you’ll never forget: My sister’s wedding for starters, and several projects of my own.

Met a new friend: several.

Have a group of new best friends: no. Maybe I should, though.

Lost a good friend: Actually lost? no. Finally accepted that they were gone? yes.

Painted a picture: no, unless Photoshop counts.

Wrote a poem: many (“We are not settlers”:http://revjim.net/2006/06/08/we-are-not-settlers/, “the first step”:http://revjim.net/2006/06/28/the-first-step/, “growing down”:http://revjim.net/2006/09/11/growing-down/, “corn field in fall colors”:http://revjim.net/2006/10/24/corn-field-in-fall-colors/, “unnoticed”:http://revjim.net/2006/11/20/unnoticed/, “in this moment”:http://revjim.net/2006/12/02/in-this-moment/)

Ran a mile: if you use the word “ran” VERY loosely, then yes.

Listened to music you couldn’t stand: Not really. I can tolerate most music.

Double-dipped: of course

Skinny-dipped: nope. I never have.

Went to a sleepover: I guess. I spent the night in places other than my own house or a hotel room. Does that count?

Went to camp / went camping: Oh yes. New Braunfels, Myschievia, and more.

Threw a surprise party: yup. For Jess’ new job.

Been to a surprise party: nope.

Laughed till you cried: once or twice. Especially over Jesus and the Butterfinger.

Laughed till you peed in your pants: does this actually happen to people?

Flirted shamelessly: almost every day.

Visited a foreign country: Mexico… for about 5 minutes.

Cooked a disastrous meal: Probably, but I can’t remember what.

Lost something important to you: too many things to count

Got a gift you adore: the gift of true friendship cannot be measured or replaced.

realized something new about yourself: almost every day.

Dyed/bleached/highlights your hair: nope. I’m all natural baby.

Came close to losing your life: Kinda. “That snake”:http://revjim.net/2006/11/27/thanksgiving/ could have been life threatening.

Someone close to you died: My great grandmother died, but we weren’t close.

Went to a party: many, many, many parties.

Drank alcohol: many, many, many alcohols.

Missed someone: so much it hurts.

Drug(s): OTC baby!

Got drunk: yes, but not nearly enough.

Got arrested: not last year.

Read a great book: several, especially “Smack” and “Naked”.

Saw a great movie: several, especially, “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Stranger than Fiction”.

Saw a movie so scary that it made you cry: nope.

Saw your favorite band/artist live: YES! Mike Doughty. Woo!

Saw someone famous in person: Does Mike Doughty count?

Did something you want to tell everyone: I think I want to tell everyone everything. I’m weird like that.

Enjoyed this year overall: Enjoyed? maybe. Tolerated and accepted is more like it.

Firsts Of 2007

Jan 5th, 2007
by Jim Reverend.
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1.Who was the first person you talked to in 07?
Jess

2. The first person you hugged?
Jess

3. The first person you called?
My Brother, David.

4. The first person you texted?
Gloria, I think. I only turned my phone on briefly to call my brother. Then it died until the 2nd when I finally had a change to recharge it.

5. The first drink you drank?
The rest of my Gin and 7up followed by a Martini at the bar with my Dad, Mom, Jess, and some of my new family.

6. The first person that called you?
My dad, 47 minutes into the new year to tell me he’d be at the bar and that I’d better hurry because it was closing.

7. The first person that texted you?
Gloria, I think.

8. Have you talked to all of your top friends yet?
My “top friends” include very few people. So, yes.

9. Any of them?
Yes.

10. Who was the 1st person to hang up on you?
I rarely get hung up on unless it’s due to a dropped cell phone call.

11. What was the first thing you watched on TV?
As in Live TV? I don’t think I’ve watched anything.

12.Who was the first person you thought of?
Jess

13. What was the first thing you ate?
Donuts. My mom brought them.

14. What exactly were you wearing at midnight?
A Tuxedo.

15. First Kiss?
Jess

16. First fight?
Yesterday morning.

17. First Laugh?
Moments after midnight when I saw the look on the face of the kid that I gave a streamer launcher to so he could help launch them at midnight.

18. first person to say ‘I love you’.
My mom, I think.

coping with imbalance

Jan 5th, 2007
by Jim Reverend.
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I think starting to just barely understand “what’s wrong with me”:http://revjim.net/2004/06/03/menieres-disease/, or, at least, what might be wrong with me.

Since I’ve delt with allergies my entire life, it seems safe to assume that my inner ear is affected in some way by this. So I’ve come up with a sort of theory that also helps to explain why I’ve always had a poor sense of balance. It goes like this.

Everyone has a “normal” state. The average normal human body temperature is 98.6°F, for instance. However, some people just naturally run a little colder or a little hotter. While 99°F would indicate a slight fever for an average person, it might mean nothing at all for someone who tends to run a little hot.

I’ve begun to theorize that, due to allergies and a near constant allergic reaction in my inner ear, my sense of balance and the communication provided by my inner ear has always been a bit muted. However, I’ve come to rely on sight and feel to make up for what my inner ear does not provide and, other than being a little more clumsy than most, I am able to cope just fine. Based on this theory, a few more come to the surface.

On the days on which I feel intense pressure and ringing in my ears, it is possible that I am having a more severe reaction than usual. In addition, this causes my head to feel cloudy, my hearing to suffer greatly. With a severe enough reaction, the inner ear could be disturbed causing improper signals to be sent, which would lead to vertigo, light-headedness, and, in extreme cases, severe nausea and vomiting.

Now imagine the opposite. What about the days when, for whatever reason, my body experiences significantly less allergic reaction than normal. This would mean that the sense in my inner ear would approach “average” which would be way above normal for me. Imagine the effect a speed-like drug has on the body. It raises the alertness of the body, and heightens each and every sense. By unmuting my inner ear, this same effect is produced. This causes my brain to get a lot more balance information than it is used to which could lead to an over correction on its part that would echo through the body reverberating ad-nauseum, literally. In the initial stages of this, it might cause one to feel a bit rocky or unstable. It might be accompanied by tingly feelings and a heightened sense of hearing. This is precisely what I feel today.

This would also explain why, when I feel that I’ve located a “trigger” ceasing that trigger seems to make me feel worse.

If these theories are true, this would lead to one of two solutions.

The first solution would be to train the brain to ignore the inner ear altogether. In severe Meniere’s Disease cases, surgery is performed to disconnect the inner ear from the brain. While some retraining is required, this almost always relieves the Meniere’s symptoms. Of course, it also eliminates the ability to hear in the corrected ear, so it’s not something I’ve considered at this point. However, with enough agitation of the inner ear, and various physical exercises during that time, the brain could learn to ignore those signals entirely.

The second solution is to manage my body through food, water, exercise, and chemicals in order to achieve a constant state. By being able to maintain ANY state at all, the brain can adjust to that level of communication and learn to respond accordingly. Unfortunately, since my triggers are largely unknown and potentially food based, this would mean developing a rigid schedule of meals and drugs that would attempt to keep the body pumping with precisely the same chemicals at all times. This would mean reevaluation of that schedule every couple of months to look for alteration opportunities as well as little to no deviation from that schedule in the mean time.

Of course, these are all just theories. But, I figure that if that’s all the doctors can do anyway, then what’s the harm in experimenting on myself a little. Neither of these “treatments” will be easy to take. I’m still not sure which, if either, I should attempt.

There is one thing I am certain of, though: when it feels as bad as it does today, almost anything is better than this. I spent 40 minutes driving in a mind-induced tunnel today, afraid to move my head in either direction lest it send me spinning and land me parked in front of the Emergency Room again.