revjim.net

To: Daniel
From: An Old Friend

You once asked that I be as painfully honest as possible. I'm not very good at that. I don't like hurting people and I hate when people are upset with me. So please forgive me if I'm too brutal as that isn't my intention. That said, I'm going to take my best shot.

I do not wish to be friends with you.

I realize you may still be upset because I never went into detail about why I was so angry, about why I wanted nothing to do with you, or even about why I was upset in the first place. I still can't give you those answers. A year later and I'm still figuring things out myself.

Instead I hope to give you a release. An end. An honest and definite answer with no beating around the bush or leaving things unsaid and letting you only guess what I'm thinking.

Whether or not you believe it, I do wish you the best. But I do not wish to mend, renew, or start a new relationship with you. Changing the past is not possible and my future does not include you.

Any before you offer to "talk", I appreciate it — really, I do — but the only people I want to talk about it with are not speaking to me about it.

I just want to remember this day, rejoice in the freedom these words bring, and morn the great loss they represent. Yes I wish things were different — goddamn do I wish they were different — but this is much better than they were.