revjim.net

April, 2007:

I see the big picture!

Hooooray. My phone now receives full-sized picture messages again. Only took me two and a half months (and no help at all from T-Mobile) to figure it out and get it fixed.

Now, all y’all need to MMS or email me photos of you to update my contacts list again. MMS directly to me or Email to danielphone AT inklog DOT net.

a meme: because I said I would

Leave a reply and…
1: I’ll respond with something random about you.
2: I’ll challenge you to try something.
3: I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4: I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5: I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6: I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7: I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8: If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal

getting out of Hoboken

A Jersey City firefighter asked a fire dispatcher which was the best route into Hoboken, and the dispatcher replied: “Take your pick – every one of them is flooded.”

The Jersey Journal – April 16th, 2007

Allow me to tell you the story of two fates each battling one another for the outcome of my life. It’s filled with foreshadowing, espionage, treason, and downright trickery. I’ve only had a few times in my life where I actually considered the thought that the breaths I was taking right that moment may be my last. This was one of them.

My story starts back last Friday night. If you recall, I grossly over packed my bag, preparing for a one night trip to New York City. At the time even I believed that the majority of the provisions I was stocking away would not be needed or used. But I was bringing them anyway. I’m glad I did.

During my drive up on Saturday I talked to my Mom that lives in Northern New York for about two hours. She warned my about the “Nor’Easter” that was headed towards New England and how it could potentially produce a lot of rain and snow. My mom tends to over worry, so I chalked it up as a warning and not much more.

I parked deep in the bowels of a parking garage in Hoboken as is required by “daily” customers, a fact that would prove problematic the next day. Then I jumped on the PATH and made it to Rachel’s apartment in about an hour.

We wandered about the city. We drank wine and ate tapas at a hopping night spot. Then we hit a Russian bar (the one supposedly preferred by Kurt Vonnegut) for carafe after carafe of fruit infused Russian vodka. Then we hit a burlesque club down in the village which led late into the evening. By this time, I was pretty well gone, which isn’t all that common for me. We stopped by the apartment briefly and then went to a diner for late night breakfast before going back to the apartment to pass out.

Sunday I was hungover. At least, that’s what I think it was. I’ve never had a hangover before. My head pounded. The sound of rain drops splashing onto the shell of the A/C window unit producing a syncopated throb in all the vessels in my brain. Moving hurt. Talking hurt. Walking hurt. Eating was out of the question. But I got up and we went out for lunch. I ate bread and water at what seemed like an amazing French place specializing in more kinds of cheese than I could have ever dreamed existed.

By the time we left the restaurant, the rain was pouring hard. When the rain pours, it’s hard to find a cab so we resigned to taking the subway. However, less than a block down the road we manage to find a cab. This proves to be quite instrumental in the timing of my departure. The cab goes by Rachel’s place to drop us off when I decide that, since we have the cab, I may as well just run up, get my bag and get a drop off at the PATH train. The driver takes me right to a PATH entrance and I dart down inside (without an umbrella) to find a train.

Believe it or not, even this next part is important. Remember all that water I drank? Well, now I had to pee — Bad. I didn’t realize it then, but this 15 minute delay now would prove to precious later on, adjusting my time to a very specific window. I ran into the connected mall, found a bathroom and bought an umbrella. Then I loaded myself onto the PATH trained and started loathing the bumps and jostles even before they began. I surfaced in Hoboken and began walking the 6 blocks to my car noticing at least 10 overturned umbrellas on the streets.

As I rounded the corner to my street I stopped in my tracks. The street was flooded. The water was rushing down the street and, as I stared in awe, firetrucks rushed up and barricaded the street corners to prevent drivers from attempting what may have been impossible.

I wasn’t sure what to do. That street was not only the only way to go to get to my car, it was the street I’d have to drive on to get out. A quick walk around the block and I realized that finding a place to stay for the night in Hoboken may not be the best idea. I didn’t even know if heading back to New York would be possible because I knew the water would soon reach the tunnel to the PATH train which meant the train might not have been running, or, worse would have been flooded mid-trip. So, I decided it was now or never.

In Hoboken, PATH entrances inside the terminal were closed and blocked with sandbags, but service continued on time. Passengers had to use the outside elevator on the bus side of the station to access PATH trains.

The Record – April 16th, 2007

I walked to the other end of the street and approached the garage from a slightly better angle. After making it past the rushing water I remembered that I was parked in the basement of this garage. I knew that couldn’t be good. As I made the last corner in the garage my fears came true. The basement was flooded. Not only was it flooded, it was still in the process of flooding. Water was rushing in from under the doors and the water under my car had almost reached the floorboards. After evaluating my options and the best angle, I hiked up my pant legs and waded up to mid-shin in grimy parking garage water complete with floating rat traps and what I believe was at least one dead rat carcass.

Driving out of the garage wasn’t too difficult aside from the fact that my legs were freezing cold from the water. Thankfully, I had that extra change of clothes in my bag, but I wasn’t ready to stop just yet; I had a lot more city to clear before I’d be willing to stop. At the street level I just decided to go for it. I drove the wrong way on a 1-way street to get away from the flood water. By the time I pulled out of the garage, what should have taken 1 hour had taken 3.

My knowledge of Hoboken is limited. Very limited. The only directions I had led to flooded roads. The alternate routes I was able to quickly deduce were also flooded. Following a few cars out of sheer hope led only to more flooded roads. I watched an SUV wash under an overpass as something further up broke loose sending a surge of water down the street. I eventually made a guess that heading North would lead to higher ground and went for it. I had to pee again, bad, but I wasn’t stopping until I was almost certain I was out.

When I finally felt safe for the moment, I found a gas station. Despite my begging and offering to pay him, the owner refused to allow me access to his restroom. I intend to send him a nice surprise in the next few days to thank him for his help. A little further down the road, and nearly ready to explode, I found place to stop quickly. Moments later I found a freeway and drove west out of New Jersey as quickly as I could.

About half way to Pennsylvania I was getting sick from the heater in the car and yet my legs and feet were still frozen solid from the wading. I pulled over on the side of the freeway and changed my clothes. I felt much better.

30 minutes further and I was almost to the Delaware Gap leading into Pennsylvania when the traffic came to a halt. For about 30 minutes we stood there, unmoving. I would find that less than 15 minutes prior to my passing, the water on the mountains above filled up behind the retaining walls, cracked through them and threw large boulders on to the highway below, breaking a big hole in the cement barrier lining either side. A large truck was parked in the far lane to prevent any further falling rocks from hitting cars and traffic was moving through one lane.

The rest of the drive was a white knuckled adventure through rain and sleet and snow with the temperatures just dancing near the freezing point. I made it to my hotel just after midnight. A 5 hour trip took 9 hours. I was fighting sleep, cold, sore, and hungover. I took a quick shower in case I picked something up in the basement and went to bed ending one of the most stressful, terrifying, and lonely days I had lived thus far.

my nerves jump like a boiling pan

And away I go.

My initial plan to leave at 8am didn’t quite work out. So I’m leaving at 9:30am instead. I’m allowed since this is a spontaneous trip. I just have to keep telling myself that. Whatever happens, happens. No rules. No plan (other than, be back by Sunday night, but, if it had to be, even that one could be stretched a bit, for the good of the cause).

I can be spontaneous. I have my moments. But I also think too much and worry too much. The two don’t really go hand in hand, yet, for the most part, I manage to do pretty well. Probably because I think pretty quickly, so I’m able to change plans at the last minute and still over think them. But, when it comes to travel, foreign cities, and potentially being stranded or lost in places I don’t know well enough to help myself. There are too many “what ifs”, and the thinking takes too long to be spontaneous and worry usually sets in before enjoyment does.

But not this time. I’m just going for it.

Kinda.

I over packed. I want to be prepared for spontaneity. So, I over packed. You’d think a one night stay might include a few toiletries, a change of clothes, something to sleep in, and, if I was really seeking adventure, a bottle of booze and an economy sized box of condoms. But not for me.

First I brought three shirts because I’m not sure where we’re going and I don’t want to be under dressed. Of course, I’m not bringing appropriate luggage to bring a button up shirt, but I’m going to bring one any way and just hope I can iron it if it’s needed. With the shirt, obviously, comes a nicer pair of shoes. Then I need my camera lenses, because you just never know. I’m debating bringing a nicer, less baggy pair of jeans, in case the nice shirt gets used. Eh, sure… why not. It’s just one more thing. Then I’m afraid it’s going to be cold, so I’ve brought a few warm undershirts and a fleece. Then there’s the requisite socks and underwear plus one extra pair of each for good measure. Of course, more than likely we’ll spend our time shopping and drinking which means most of the camera lenses aren’t needed and the nicer clothes would have been perfectly fine (except that they look funny covered with a fleece or worn with an undershirt, I think). Anyway. It’s done I’ve packed.

The one thing I think I’ve managed to talk myself OUT of bringing is the laptop. I figure I’m not going to have much time to use it anyway, and, if I really need something on the Internet that my phone can’t get, I’m sure Rachel would let me borrow hers or I could find an Internet Cafe. So, I’m not bringing the laptop.

I will, however, continue to update “Twitter”:http://twitter.com/revjim. If you aren’t using twitter yet, you should be. I update it quite a bit though each day with small tidbits of my life and what I’m doing. In fact, you don’t even have to visit the Twitter website to get updates from me. There are two very easy ways that take less than 15 seconds.

1) Send a text message from your mobile phone to “40404″. In the message type “add revjim”. That’s it. Whenever I have an update, you’ll get a text message from me.

2) Use Gtalk, LJ Talk, or any Jabber based IM client and send a message to twitter@twitter.com. The message should read “add revjim”. That’s it. Whenever I have an update, you’ll get an IM from me.

See, it’s easy.

If all goes well, I should still make it to Rachel’s by 2pm. Send me text and picture messages (danielphone AT inklog DOT net) to keep me entertained for the 5 hour trip.

No, not a maze, but like blazed-out inner star

So it looks like I’m making a last minute trip to New York City this weekend. A friend who moved out to the city less than a year ago invited me late last night to come stay with her for the weekend. I’m always VERY leery about making last minute travel plans, because I always manage to screw something up which puts me in a bad mood and then I don’t have fun. But, I’m making an exception this time. I haven’t seen my friend in a while and I miss her. Plus, I love New York City. And it’s fun to be spontaneous sometimes. So I’m going and that’s that.

I’ll be driving to Hoboken, NJ around 8am. I should get there just after noon. By the time I park, and get on a PATH train, it’ll be 1pm, which means I should be at my friends place no later than 2pm. Seems reasonable anyway. It’s something to strive for, not that it matters since I’m not actually bothering to make any plans.

I bought some clothes today. The problem with buying something that away from home that I may want to wear within the next few days is that I have to find a way to wash it. Unless of course, you’re like my wife who doesn’t bother to wash them right after buying them. But that’s just gross. That shirt was probably stitched together by a child sweat-shop laborer in Asia somewhere using his dirty grubby feet to do the work because he lost both of his arms in a factory accident a few months before. And she just wears it. Gross.

But I digress. I bought some clothes today. The bad news is that I have to get them washed. The good news is that I get to go to a Laundromat to do so. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a fascination with them. So, I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ll bring a good book and my camera and we’ll see where it goes. I managed to find one not too far away that’s open 24 hours a day. So, in a little bit I’m going to head out. On the way there, I’ll stop at a gas station and get some gas for tomorrow and some cash.

Today was a good day. I sent out my update, which is always impressive because it shows not only the huge amount of issues I’m juggling, but also that I’m actively working on each of them and keeping records of my progress. Very few people are willing to put the effort in required to be the guy that’s really organized, but almost everyone had great respect for those who do. I also was paid a huge compliment by my boss today. She said that one of her peers mentioned that I was doing an incredible job at selling the value of this new position. They are considering sending me to each center when they install someone like me there so that I can set the bar from the beginning.

I also finished “Peace like a River” by Leif Enger today. This is a great book. There is a strong theme of “faith” throughout it; faith that, in this case, is directed at the god of the King James bible. I was a bit worried that it would end up being preachy, but that wasn’t the case at all. I highly recommend it.

All in all, I had a good day today. Now, I should get going so that I can get home at a reasonable hour. More later.

No, not a maze, but like blazed-out inner star

So it looks like I’m making a last minute trip to New York City this weekend. A friend who moved out to the city less than a year ago invited me late last night to come stay with her for the weekend. I’m always VERY leery about making last minute travel plans, because I always manage to screw something up which puts me in a bad mood and then I don’t have fun. But, I’m making an exception this time. I haven’t seen my friend in a while and I miss her. Plus, I love New York City. And it’s fun to be spontaneous sometimes. So I’m going and that’s that.

I’ll be driving to Hoboken, NJ around 8am. I should get there just after noon. By the time I park, and get on a PATH train, it’ll be 1pm, which means I should be at my friends place no later than 2pm. Seems reasonable anyway. It’s something to strive for, not that it matters since I’m not actually bothering to make any plans.

I bought some clothes today. The problem with buying something that away from home that I may want to wear within the next few days is that I have to find a way to wash it. Unless of course, you’re like my wife who doesn’t bother to wash them right after buying them. But that’s just gross. That shirt was probably stitched together by a child sweat-shop laborer in Asia somewhere using his dirty grubby feet to do the work because he lost both of his arms in a factory accident a few months before. And she just wears it. Gross.

But I digress… I bought some clothes today. The bad news is that I have to get them washed. The good news is that I get to go to a Laundromat to do so. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a fascination with them. So, I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ll bring a good book and my camera and we’ll see where it goes. I managed to find one not too far away that’s open 24 hours a day. So, in a little bit I’m going to head out. On the way there, I’ll stop at a gas station and get some gas for tomorrow and some cash.

Today was a good day. I sent out my update, which is always impressive because it shows not only the huge amount of issues I’m juggling, but also that I’m actively working on each of them and keeping records of my progress. Very few people are willing to put the effort in required to be the guy that’s really organized, but almost everyone had great respect for those who do. I also was paid a huge compliment by my boss today. She said that one of her peers mentioned that I was doing an incredible job at selling the value of this new position. They are considering sending me to each center when they install someone like me there so that I can set the bar from the beginning.

I also finished “Peace like a River” by Leif Enger today. This is a great book. There is a strong theme of “faith” throughout it; faith that, in this case, is directed at the god of the King James bible. I was a bit worried that it would end up being preachy, but that wasn’t the case at all. I highly recommend it.

All in all, I had a good day today. Now, I should get going so that I can get home at a reasonable hour. More later.

No, not a maze, but like blazed-out inner star

So it looks like I’m making a last minute trip to New York City this weekend. A friend who moved out to the city less than a year ago invited me late last night to come stay with her for the weekend. I’m always VERY leery about making last minute travel plans, because I always manage to screw something up which puts me in a bad mood and then I don’t have fun. But, I’m making an exception this time. I haven’t seen my friend in a while and I miss her. Plus, I love New York City. And it’s fun to be spontaneous sometimes. So I’m going and that’s that.

I’ll be driving to Hoboken, NJ around 8am. I should get there just after noon. By the time I park, and get on a PATH train, it’ll be 1pm, which means I should be at my friends place no later than 2pm. Seems reasonable anyway. It’s something to strive for, not that it matters since I’m not actually bothering to make any plans.

I bought some clothes today. The problem with buying something that away from home that I may want to wear within the next few days is that I have to find a way to wash it. Unless of course, you’re like my wife who doesn’t bother to wash them right after buying them. But that’s just gross. That shirt was probably stitched together by a child sweat-shop laborer in Asia somewhere using his dirty grubby feet to do the work because he lost both of his arms in a factory accident a few months before. And she just wears it. Gross.

But I digress… I bought some clothes today. The bad news is that I have to get them washed. The good news is that I get to go to a Laundromat to do so. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a fascination with them. So, I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ll bring a good book and my camera and we’ll see where it goes. I managed to find one not too far away that’s open 24 hours a day. So, in a little bit I’m going to head out. On the way there, I’ll stop at a gas station and get some gas for tomorrow and some cash.

Today was a good day. I sent out my update, which is always impressive because it shows not only the huge amount of issues I’m juggling, but also that I’m actively working on each of them and keeping records of my progress. Very few people are willing to put the effort in required to be the guy that’s really organized, but almost everyone had great respect for those who do. I also was paid a huge compliment by my boss today. She said that one of her peers mentioned that I was doing an incredible job at selling the value of this new position. They are considering sending me to each center when they install someone like me there so that I can set the bar from the beginning.

I also finished “Peace like a River” by Leif Enger today. This is a great book. There is a strong theme of “faith” throughout it; faith that, in this case, is directed at the god of the King James bible. I was a bit worried that it would end up being preachy, but that wasn’t the case at all. I highly recommend it.

All in all, I had a good day today. Now, I should get going so that I can get home at a reasonable hour. More later.

bad morning

I spent an hour editing photos this morning. I was attempting to resize them to put on the web and I pressed a button that didn’t do what I think it did. All of my edits were destroyed. I called Jess, upset, but, of course, there was nothing she could do. Then I got an email from a good friend that said, before I ever even tried to do so, “I can’t talk to you today”. While I understand why and know that it isn’t meant to hurt me, it still doesn’t feel good to be pushed aside. At all. So I decided to take a shower. Then I learned that the hotel cleaning staff didn’t give me any wash cloths. So I just turned the water a little hotter than I could stand and stood there until I was at least a little less angry. Then, after getting dressed in dark pants, I realized that I forgot to bring a lint brush.

I told “Rachel”:http://www.rachelrayns.com/ I’d put up a photograph of a New York City cab today, so here it is. You can see this image, and another, in my photoblog.

but Anne said underneath their jackets she saw wings

I’m back in Syracuse again. I’m starting to get used to it. Not Syracuse itself — there is still much to explore — but the whole travelling bit. That whole thing where I work alone, and watch TV alone, and eat meals alone, and go exploring alone. That part where I don’t have any real friends within hundreds and hundreds of miles of where I am. The part where I’m almost content because I’ve found the dry cleaners, and the restaurant I like when I don’t feel like finding something else, and that place I go at night when there’s no where else to go. That part where the hotel staff greets me morning and night in the same way a neighbor might at the mail box in the afternoon or while pulling their trash bins down to the road before work on Thursday mornings.

I’ve planned a bit better this time around. I’ve brought along image management software, image editing software, a card reader, and materials with which to do an expense report. That should occupy any idle time I might have after the sun goes down. In fact, If I only had my truck, a proper kitchen, a more suitable internet connection, and a DVR, materially, I’d have all the comforts of “home”. It’s those other things about “home” that are hard to even define that I’ve yet to find here — and, by my guess, it’ll be a while still before I do.

Of course, in all my planning, I managed to forget a few more important things, one of which was my jacket. I imagine it’s pretty common for one to forget their jacket when traveling from a warm climate to a cold climate, so I don’t feel too silly for having done it. Quite happy with the jacket I already own, I picked up something cheap and mostly suitable at the mall on my way out of the airport. Unfortunately, it was a bit too cheap as I’ve broken a zipper already and quickly realized it offers little to no protection from the cold, even if the zipper were functioning correctly. So, tomorrow I’ll be off to look for another.

I’ve got a billion things swimming around in my head, and none of them really make much sense right now. I’m just sorting out an awful lot of stuff — from friendships, to career moves, to financial matters, to family planning. A lot of the things I consider usher in a deep depression, while others seem to make me giddy as a child. It’s a strange mixture, really. But, I’m sorting it all out, slowly.

Last weekend I did a photo session for a band (four members of which are good friends of mine), had sushi with some friends, met two other friends for coffee, and then spent Sunday at Easter dinner with my family. It was a much needed stirring of emotional, mental, and creative stimulation that I’d really like to repeat.

On that note, I’ll be back in Texas from the evening of the 20th until the morning of the 30th. If you’d like to get together then, I’d love to hear from you — for coffee, photograpy (in front of or behind the camera, clothed or otherwise), shopping, music, gossip (friends, celebrities, whatever), parties (of the cocktail, keg, dinner, or debaucherous variety), dinner, movies, games, anything! Phone, E-mail, Twitter, Text Message, IM, whatever. I’d love to hear form you.

disclosed completely in a plain film canister

I don’t remember where I left off with these little life updates so I’m going to pick a random place in life to start at.

Early on a cool summer morning, high in the California desert, the sky produced a new hue of red that never existed before and has not been used since. Moments later, I was born. My name was written on my birth certificate in drops of blood squeezed from the last real diamond ever produced. Nude fairies fluttered about my infant body ensuring that no man, nor bird, nor beast would interfere with my first breaths. As my lungs filled with air for the first time, I let out a cry so pure, and so beautiful that the breasts of all women young and old within 250 miles lactated immediately.

This could take a while. Maybe I should pick up somewhere more recent.

I’m not much of a gambler. I like to play cards with friends, but, since I rarely have more than $20 on the line, the “gambling” part of that event is more a formality than it is real gambling. Betting on horses can be fun from time to time, but I can count the times I’ve done so on one hand. I played the slots once in Sudbury: stuffed $100 into a machine, pulled the lever for 30 minutes and walked away with nothing. There really wasn’t much about it to consider exciting.

About 30 minutes out of Syracuse there’s an Indian run casino. Several weeks ago I went with a couple of people from work and played Blackjack and some other rip off “Texas Hold Em” style game and promptly blew through $100 in less than an hour. Again, it was fun, but certainly not something I’d do with any regularity. When I was there I noticed the Craps table. It fascinated me, but I couldn’t really grasp how to play from watching them since the action moves so fast, and then I promptly forgot about it.

Then I went to a party with some work people last Friday. That night I talked with the wife of one of the managers who happens to enjoy playing Craps. She went over the basics of the game with me and, again, I was intrigued. So, that Saturday, with nothing else to do, Jess and I headed out to the Casino to play Craps. Now *that’s* fun. Thankfully, I have some control, because I could easily gamble away everything I have playing this game.

I’ve been in San Antonio since Monday in Staff Meetings. I head back to Dallas this afternoon, and then back to Syracuse on Monday for two more weeks. I’m growing weary of travel. Actually, I don’t mind traveling so much, I just don’t like being away from my wife and the small handful of friends and family that I have for weeks and weeks at a time. I’m too nervous and cautious to make even casual friendships this quickly, and even if I wasn’t, I’m reluctant to give too much of myself, worried that the investment would be wasted if we end up not moving and too hard to nurture with me being away for weeks here and there. I’m really looking forward to moving so that I can set my mind in that mode of newness and get started with a new life.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately analyzing friendships. It’s amazing to me how some friendships can flourish even with countries and oceans between us and yet other friendships of seemingly similar intensity manage to drift apart, even in my own backyard. But I realize that I have to stop looking at it like that. Things change. People change. I have to be grateful for the friendships I do have, ready to fight for those drifting away when I see a spark of fight appear in them, and ready to let go of those that don’t want to be had. I’ll figure it all out eventually, I’m sure. Friendship and “fitting in” is just one of those things that I’ve always had a really hard time understanding and coping with.

There is a beautiful state park just outside of Syracuse. Jess and I went one afternoon and just fell in love with the beauty of this place. And we weren’t even there when it is in its “beautiful” season. I could spend hours and hours just sitting there. If we move, I’ll be getting a parks pass for sure. It’ll make up for it’s cost in less than a month. According to a map I saw, there are many, many more around almost every corner just waiting to be explored. I’m really looking forward to it.

And that’s all the time I have this morning. More later.