I don’t remember where I left off with these little life updates so I’m going to pick a random place in life to start at.
Early on a cool summer morning, high in the California desert, the sky produced a new hue of red that never existed before and has not been used since. Moments later, I was born. My name was written on my birth certificate in drops of blood squeezed from the last real diamond ever produced. Nude fairies fluttered about my infant body ensuring that no man, nor bird, nor beast would interfere with my first breaths. As my lungs filled with air for the first time, I let out a cry so pure, and so beautiful that the breasts of all women young and old within 250 miles lactated immediately.
This could take a while. Maybe I should pick up somewhere more recent.
I’m not much of a gambler. I like to play cards with friends, but, since I rarely have more than $20 on the line, the “gambling” part of that event is more a formality than it is real gambling. Betting on horses can be fun from time to time, but I can count the times I’ve done so on one hand. I played the slots once in Sudbury: stuffed $100 into a machine, pulled the lever for 30 minutes and walked away with nothing. There really wasn’t much about it to consider exciting.
About 30 minutes out of Syracuse there’s an Indian run casino. Several weeks ago I went with a couple of people from work and played Blackjack and some other rip off “Texas Hold Em” style game and promptly blew through $100 in less than an hour. Again, it was fun, but certainly not something I’d do with any regularity. When I was there I noticed the Craps table. It fascinated me, but I couldn’t really grasp how to play from watching them since the action moves so fast, and then I promptly forgot about it.
Then I went to a party with some work people last Friday. That night I talked with the wife of one of the managers who happens to enjoy playing Craps. She went over the basics of the game with me and, again, I was intrigued. So, that Saturday, with nothing else to do, Jess and I headed out to the Casino to play Craps. Now *that’s* fun. Thankfully, I have some control, because I could easily gamble away everything I have playing this game.
I’ve been in San Antonio since Monday in Staff Meetings. I head back to Dallas this afternoon, and then back to Syracuse on Monday for two more weeks. I’m growing weary of travel. Actually, I don’t mind traveling so much, I just don’t like being away from my wife and the small handful of friends and family that I have for weeks and weeks at a time. I’m too nervous and cautious to make even casual friendships this quickly, and even if I wasn’t, I’m reluctant to give too much of myself, worried that the investment would be wasted if we end up not moving and too hard to nurture with me being away for weeks here and there. I’m really looking forward to moving so that I can set my mind in that mode of newness and get started with a new life.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately analyzing friendships. It’s amazing to me how some friendships can flourish even with countries and oceans between us and yet other friendships of seemingly similar intensity manage to drift apart, even in my own backyard. But I realize that I have to stop looking at it like that. Things change. People change. I have to be grateful for the friendships I do have, ready to fight for those drifting away when I see a spark of fight appear in them, and ready to let go of those that don’t want to be had. I’ll figure it all out eventually, I’m sure. Friendship and “fitting in” is just one of those things that I’ve always had a really hard time understanding and coping with.
There is a beautiful state park just outside of Syracuse. Jess and I went one afternoon and just fell in love with the beauty of this place. And we weren’t even there when it is in its “beautiful” season. I could spend hours and hours just sitting there. If we move, I’ll be getting a parks pass for sure. It’ll make up for it’s cost in less than a month. According to a map I saw, there are many, many more around almost every corner just waiting to be explored. I’m really looking forward to it.
And that’s all the time I have this morning. More later.