June, 2007:

Advocating Experiencer

I found the Personal DNA report to be very accurate for me. Not only that, it told me things about myself in a way that made me think, “I knew that already”, yet, also made me realize new ways that being like that might impact me and those around me.

If you’ve got 15 minutes to spare, it might be worth taking. Or, read my report and then decide if you’d like one of your own.

You know me. I analyze (some would say over-analyze) every aspect of my life and constantly make little change to help approach something better. Today is no different.

First of all, I intend to completely edit two sessions every three days. One of them will be a new session and the other an old session. This way, I’ll still release newer material while making certain that I don’t completely abandon the old stuff that needs attention. Yesterday was day one. Within the next two days I’ll have completed the remainder of a collection of images of Michael Ann (one of my most favorite models ever) from January of 2006, as well as the images taken at the Lost Creek Reservoir Saturday evening.

I’ve been allowing the failure of various services, softwares, and hardwares to prevent me from doing what I need and want to accomplish. I can’t edit these images because Lightroom is broken. I can’t sell these images because I can’t catalog them. I can’t finish my West Texas slideshow or my Skins production because I don’t have the tools to create and display them properly. It’s bullshit. I *can* do these things. Sure, it’s harder to do them with the above mentioned points of failure, but not at all impossible.

The second thing I intend to change is my eating habits. I’ve mentioned this before and no permanent change has come of my attempts. Clearly, I need something more radical.

12 years ago I weighed 125 pounds. At some point in time since then, I’ve begun to rely on food for comfort during times of frustration, anger, sadness, or boredom. Cigarettes also filled that niche and, since I quit over two years ago, my food consumption has only increased. Regardless of the excuses I can make for myself regarding why I’ve let myself go, I’m no longer willing to accept it. No, I don’t want to weigh 125 pounds again, but, it certainly wouldn’t hurt if I dropped 30 pounds or so.

In many ways like smoking was, my addiction to food is psychological addiction and should be approached as such. Just as I did with smoking, I’ll attack this in several phases: first the physical, then the mental, then the emotional. All the details aren’t important right now. What is important is to note what step I’m taking currently.

I will only eat fruit prior to 11am. There’s no reason to do otherwise. Fruit certainly is capable of satisfying hunger, and I rarely make a big production out of breakfast so there’s no reason not to have fruit instead of cereal, toast, or eggs. In most cases I don’t eat breakfast anyway, so it’s a moot point. Prior to 5pm, I will only eat fruits and non starchy vegetables. Prior to 9pm I will eat my choice of fruits and all vegetable as well as grains and pastas. After 9pm, I will eat only fruits and non-starchy vegetables. Meat will be eaten during the evening only, and no more than 3 times a week.

Of course I’m well aware that eating is a much more socially acceptable pastime than smoking ever was. So removing myself from food based social events certainly will not lead to increased happiness which is really the point of all of this. Therefore, I will permit myself two deviations from this schedule per week.

None of this is set in stone. As time progresses I’ll alter this to allow more flexibility where required and to be more restrictive when possible. Baby steps.