revjim.net

1. What is your best friend's Dad's name?
Robert

2. What body part do you hate?
My gut, my legs, and my third penis.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
Mrs. Mercado. Oh my god! I had a big crush on her from 2nd to at least 6th grade.

4. Have you ever made out in a garage?
Um…. I don't think so. But maybe.

5. What's your reason for doing this survey?
For every internet survey you take, Bill Gates will mail you $0.10. It's part of a new internet program to test new Microsoft tracking software. Try it.

6. Do you have any piercings?
One: in between my big toe and first toe on my right foot. It's stretched enough that I usually keep a master lock there. It's symbolic, ya know?

7. Do you have any tattoos?
Yeah. But I'll only show you if you show me.

8. Is your driveway steep?
In Texas, No. In New York… not really. So, I guess the answer is just no. Well, not "just no". Just no. Errr. I mean, the answer is no, and nothing else. Not counting the "and nothing else" part, of course. You know?

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
Plain. That way I can imagine my own seasonings.

10. Have you ever been tied up?
Oh hell yeah! Back in the 80s, we had this phone in our kitchen with a 50+ foot cord (because cordless wasn't really a thing yet) and I'd walk all around the house talking on it and several times I got very tied up because my girlfriend would call me up and tell me to spin around in circles really fast, so I would. I'd tell her to stop, but she wouldn't. I'd even use the safe word, but she wouldn't listen. … I wish they made mobile phones with really long cords like that. I miss them.

11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
When the cops called my parents to report my car as abandoned because it was found on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere when, in actuality we were up in the top of a nearby barn drinking and such.

12. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
Every night has two dates, the one before midnight and the one after. And the one after can be much uglier since, by then, I've already had a lot to drink.

13. Which shoe do you put on first?
Whichever I pick up first.

14. How old are you?
I lost track after 500; somewhere around 1500. Oh wait, you mean in this life… 29.

15. Have you ever been in a gay bar?
Oh yes. Spent my 21st birthday in one. Didn't even realize it was a gay bar for at least 45 minutes because I was too focused on the hot thing playing the piano. Turns out he was gay too. Damn it.

16. Have you ever had any Friends with Benefits?
If a friend doesn't come with benefits, what's the point of having them?

17. Is there one thing all of the times you have been in love have in common?
The Police have been involved.

18. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
No, and No.

19. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
Jess. Or your mom. Especially last night. Damn.

20. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Jess writes me songs all the time.

21. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or your towel ever which would it be?
Eh. It wouldn't matter. If I couldn't wash my sheets, I'd just shower before and after bed each day and air them out once a week. And if I couldn't wash my towel, I'd either drip dry, or just roll around in my sheets and then replace them.

22. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable?
Yes. It wasn't questionable at the time, though. I just figured everyone's parents must keep spices under the bathroom sink.

23. What was your childhood nickname?
Little Man! No really. It was.

24. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
When was the last time the radio was on?

25. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex's locker room?
I've TRIED, but only from spots that I was allowed to be in. It wasn't ever very successful.

26. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Weird? I don't understand. If I do anything weird, then I'm sure I've done it while driving too.

27. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
Even if I could, I wouldn't. But I'm pretty sure I can't.

28. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
I don't really eat Oreos.

29. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
Depends on who's serving them and what their intent is.

30. Why are you doing this survey?
Again, it's for the $0.10. I need it. Bad. I have a house to buy.

31. What was the best year of your life?
Seriously, every year seems better than the last. I've had some darker years in the past where that wouldn't be true, but, since Jess and I got together, things have only gotten better and better.

32. Any strange phobias?
I fear holes. No really. If there's a hole that I can't see the bottom/top of, I don't like it: holes in the ground, changing air conditioning filters, sticking my hand in the garbage disposal, etc.

33. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Nope. Only American objects.

34. whens the last time you threw up?
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you a throw up.

35. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
Only on purpose.

36. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
I usually wait for her to fall asleep first. Easier to undress her without her knowing.

37. Have you ever played naked Twister?
Naked games are fun. But, of them all, I'm sure Twister is the worst.

38. Have you ever been drunk at work/school?
No and no.

39. How many Ellie's do you know?
I'm with Tanya on this one: what's an Ellie?

40. how old do you want to die?
I used to say 35. Sounded like a good number to go out with a bang on. With a wife and a kid on the way, I'll extend that a bit. Take me out when I'm 40. I'll do my best to populate the Earth before then. Just form one line to the left please.