revjim.net

Most women I know that have ever carried a child have had a similar list of complaints regarding the actions of people around them while they were pregnant.

• "Don't think that you can rub my belly just because I'm pregnant when I don't even know you!"
• "I'm sorry but I don't need to hear from you regarding what I should and shouldn't be eating right now"
• "You telling me that I'm 'huge' certainly doesn't make me feel any better. At least I have an excuse. What's yours?"
• "Yes, I'm having a Milkshake. Yes, this makes three today. So?"
• "I'm sure you enjoyed having yours but, it's my body and I've decided I don't want an Epidural."

And the list, surely, goes on and on.

However, I rarely hear the gripe of the father-to-be. Maybe this is because they are smarter than I am and know to keep their mouths shut. Maybe I'm the only one who has ever had this gripe and that reflects more on how terrible I am than how silly others are. Regardless, here it is… my gripe.

I'm tired of people offering advice, making statements, and expressing concern that leads me to believe that they think I don't have my wife's best interest at hand or that I need them, in any way, to tell me how I should treat her while she's pregnant.  I'm tired of people thinking that I would ever, EVER, E-V-E-R do ANYTHING that I thought might hurt my wife or my unborn child in anyway.

First of all,  anyone who thinks that, short of a gun to the head, they can *MAKE* a pregnant woman do anything they don't want to do has obviously not been around a pregnant woman. The same goes for anyone who thinks they can stop a pregnant woman from doing something she has her heart set on doing. It simply isn't possible.

With that, here's my list of gripes:

• "I'm well aware of the fact that my wife needs more sleep when she's pregnant. I didn't wake her up and I didn't tell her when to go to bed. If there was something I could do to help her rest better, I certainly would."
• "I had no intent whatsoever of having my wife help me load these boards into the back of my truck. Just because you don't think I can lift them by myself doesn't mean I can't. I appreciate the help though. Now go back to pushing carts."
• "No, I'm not asking Jess to buy a wheelbarrow, put it in the truck, drive it home, and then take it out of the truck. I'm just asking her to buy a wheelbarrow. The nice people at the hardware store would help me load it, they'll certainly help her."
• "I'm not making her work a list of chores every day. In fact, I told her she should rest. She's doing chores because she feels she should and I simply can't stop her."
•  "I know she'll look back on this moment and wish she had more photographs of this precious time, but I can't force her to stand still long enough for me to take any photos."
• "Maybe it seems wrong to you that I flirt with other girls while my wife is pregnant with my child but it doesn't bother either of us so why should it bother you?"

And my list, too, goes on and on and on.

This Just In!! I love my wife and do everything I can to take care of her. My wife loves herself and does everything in her power to take care of herself. We're both on it. We don't need your help. Telling me what you think I'm doing wrong or what you think I should be doing doesn't help at all. Friendly advice is nice and appreciated. Expressing the belief that I hadn't considered the fact that my wife is pregnant is equivalent to calling me either blind or stupid.

(And before you gasp at the very thought that I would even write these words; She read them before I posted them. She even giggled the whole time she was reading them.)