I’ve been busy lately, which is exactly what I wanted.
My personal improvement project is going quite well, though only4 days old at this point. I’ve had no offers of reward, encouragement, or companionship but I have I have inspired a few people to take a similar approach in their own lives, which is awesome. Running 3 mornings a week has proven to be the most difficult. It’s cold, and I’m tired, and it’s just so easy to say “no” and roll over in bed. But, I haven’t yet.
pushing away
Thanks to a couple of friends, I managed to do something I’ve always wanted to do last night: photograph an abandoned building at night. It was something that I just couldn’t bring myself to do alone. Fear of getting hurt with no one to assist, mostly — either by something old laying on the property, an animal living in the house, or the hobo who might be sleeping in the barn.
I’ve been making a better effort to start documenting my daughter’s life as well. There will be more on this later, but possibly not here. I’m not sure I’m willing to link this to that. We’ll see. If you know me personally, and would like info, hit me up some other way and I’ll make sure you’re included.
I’ve been making some very good headway when it comes to sorting out the relationships in my life. My therapist agrees, which is just reassurance that I am making reasonable decisions. In many cases, I’m finding that the relationships I’m realizing I’ve lost aren’t really anyone’s “fault”. It’s just that they have become less available to me than I am. But I wasn’t keeping that in balance which led to hurt and confusion and panic. Balance is really key. I am now learning how to allow that balance to mostly maintain itself, and how to recognize when it isn’t.
All this sorting out has also opened my eyes up to some valuable friendships that I was being unavailable to that are certainly worth putting some energy into. It’s also given me the opportunity and motive to seek out some new friendships, which I haven’t really done in a long time. I’ve met a few interesting people. One person in particular, very similar to me in thought process and desires, I’ve made a very nice connection with. I’m having coffee with her this Friday, which should be fun.
I’ve got a couple more photo projects I really want to get rolling. I’m still looking for volunteers if you’re interested. Don’t worry, I won’t make you take off ALL of your clothes. :)
As the holidays approach life is getting more and more hectic on it’s own, which is also good, in a way. While I enjoy peace and quiet, I really thrive in hectic conditions.
Tonight Jess and I are putting up our holiday tree. This weekend we’ll be seeing my parents, as usual, and enjoying some time with some good friends. I’m also planning on photographing my friend’s kid for the holidays. Maybe even get some of our kids together. They are both so cute. Is it too early to arrange a marriage?
I had really wanted to attend the Dallas Santa Rampage this year, but it took more giving and planning than I wanted to invest and, when I really considered everything, the time is better spent elsewhere. But I’m certain it will be a blast and I believe there are still tickets left. So, if you’re not doing anything Saturday, you should certainly consider it.
Speaking of the holidays, I remember now that I’d wanted to write a bit about my thoughts on Christmas, Advent, the birth of Jesus and the true message of his life. Someone remind me to do that, will you?