Nearly every day, for exactly 7 minutes and 42 seconds, my mind is filled with the most insightful, revealing, witty, humorous, intelligent, touching thoughts, outlined in the utmost clarity. And during that time I am so taken back by the amazing and beautiful nature of this planet, the human mind, and the entire universe that I am immobilized. When it is over, my first thought is to write down what I’ve learned. Yet, my mind no longer understands and I am left with only fragments. They, too, are soon forgotten.
January, 2009:
Dear Ants
Dear Ants,
At first I tried peace. A few ants here and there never hurt anyone. We can live in harmony. But you took advantage of me. You invaded more and more of my home. I tried peaceful deterrents and environmentally friendly treatments, but you didn’t even pretend to care.
So, I stepped up my defenses. I got some real pesticide. I killed you whenever I saw you but left you alone otherwise to pack up and move out. At first I thought you got the message. Clearly, you were simply planning a greater offense. Starting yesterday, you’ve launched an all out attack.
I no longer seek peace.
I called a professional. HA!
He’ll be here at 1pm. If you leave before then I might not pay him extra to hunt each of you down regardless of where you run to.
You’re all going to die, you little fuckers. And I’ll take my own arm off to kill you if one of you bites me again because, GDI that hurts!
Hatefully,
Daniel