revjim.net

I need a safety buddy

While I’m up and not sleeping, I figure I may as well mention this too.

I need a safety buddy.

I don’t really have any fears about being alone. I do quite well alone, actually. And if something should happen to me while I’m alone well, I’ll either make it out of it or I won’t. But I don’t really worry about it at all.

However, I’m very frightened about what might happen to my daughter if something should happen to me when we’re alone together. The thought of her being unable to wake me, unable to feed/change herself, and unable to get help — just sitting there crying and possibly dying scares me more than anything else.

Most days her mom and I follow our “every other day” custody pattern. Though we’ve never discussed it, I’m sure if I didn’t drop her off at school by 10am or so, her mom would call to find out what happened. And by noon or so with no call or answer she’d probably get worried enough to leave work and come find out. So that’s 19 hours, tops, that my daughter would be alone in this house before someone showed up to check on her. But still, that’s nineteen hours. The thought of that makes me shiver. Chances are she would live through it and come out physically unharmed, but the thought her suffering, scared, and worried like that — I just can’t bare to think of it.

And don’t even get me started on weekends and days off.

If I can get that interval down to 2 to 4 hours, I think I’d worry less. Then again, I’m, obviously, a worrier, so maybe not.

So who wants to be my safety buddy? Basically, if you haven’t heard from me online in a few hours (which with my Twitter and Facebook habits is quite rare), just poke at me in some other way (IM, SMS, Phone Call) and make sure I’m still breathing. I’ll give you the number to my neighbors and tell you where I hide a key to my house so that, if I don’t respond, you can save the day.

Yes. I’m aware that I’m absolutely paranoid. Supressing it doesn’t really help. I’ve learned that catering to it is the fastest way to silence it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Kelley/8323263 Jonathan Kelley

    Personally, I think 48 hours is an acceptable SLA. The probability of physical damage to the child during that period is minimal, save for accidental self-inflicted damage (which I'd evaluate as negligible in probability). But I'm also expecting my children to be cybernetic organisms like myself.

    Why don't you just write a challenge-response script that pings you on your mobile device at a defined interval and if you don't acknowledge within the grace period it notifies your emergency contact list? simple and unobtrusive.

  • http://revjim.net/ Jim Reverend

    It's less about her LIVING and more about the fear inside me that she
    will live in fear for even 1 hour, let alone 48.

    It's that whole “momma bear” thing where it just scares the crap out
    of me to think of her in pain or torture at all. And I can imagine
    being hungry and thirsty and climbing on your unconscious father as
    pretty close to torture for a young child.

    But, you're right, I could author some form of challenge response. As
    long as I keep my phone handy all the time. Worth a test run anyway.

    On Thu, Jun 11, 2009 at 3:12 PM,

  • brush

    You know you keep your phone handy all the time. I could demonstrate the opposite… I rarely answer unless it's nearby and I recognize the number. A script pinging me to make sure I'm alive would drive me batshit crazy and then I'd never even have a kid :(

    Also you're gonna fight me on this, but you gotta chill out. You are literally thinking the worst could happen and thinking about it incessantly. Calm blue ocean… calm blue ocean. That's all there is right now. Don't look for violent, storming seas where there are none.

  • http://revjim.net/ Jim Reverend

    I'm not gonna fight you on that. I agree. 100% No… 500%. Calm blue
    ocean is what's needed.

    So… how do I get from here to there?

    And, no, I really don't keep my phone handy all the time. It's close
    by in case I need it, yes. But lately I've been either turning the
    sound off or burying it so deep in a bag that it may as well be off.
    And I'm okay with that. I need to be less connected and less
    available. It's bringing me one step closer to calm blue ocean.

    On Fri, Jun 12, 2009 at 1:24 AM,

  • http://revjim.net/ Daniel

    I'm not gonna fight you on that. I agree. 100% No… 500%. Calm blue
    ocean is what's needed.

    So… how do I get from here to there?

    And, no, I really don't keep my phone handy all the time. It's close
    by in case I need it, yes. But lately I've been either turning the
    sound off or burying it so deep in a bag that it may as well be off.
    And I'm okay with that. I need to be less connected and less
    available. It's bringing me one step closer to calm blue ocean.

    On Fri, Jun 12, 2009 at 1:24 AM,