revjim.net

June 12th, 2009:

a time bomb! In my mind, Mom!

Last night was terrible.

It all stems from my inability to remain calm when there are two opposing yet equally important wishes or needs to be carried out with a deadline rapidly approaching.

Of course everything is different in hindsight. I see now that the deadline was really more of a suggestion. And erasing the deadline made one of the opposing ideas nearly disappear. If I’d had seen that last night things would have been a lot easier. I would have seen that last night if I would have been able to remain calm. But the deadline approaching is like a time bomb ticking in my ear.

“I’ve got a time bomb. In my mind, Mom.
I hear it ticking and I don’t know why.”

(The story of the song is not really fitting to me, but that piece out of context certainly is. As well as a bit from the chorus.)

I guess I finally did see it last night. But by the time I did I was so exhausted from the battle to get there that I just went to bed. At like 9:30. And, for good measure I didn’t get up until 6:30.

Those who know me will understand that 9 hours of sleep is a really, REALLY long time for me.