It’s so strange how having a child (or anyone important to you, I imagine) in your care can change the way you look at your entire life.
Specifically, I’m talking about my health. Medical and physical issues have long since been a source of severe irritation and, sometimes, incapacitation. In the past, I’ve been content to just deal with the pain and frustration knowing that, like many things, these too would pass and leave me right where I was. But this is no longer good enough. Every day is important. Every day is critical. Every day matters. A day that I can’t be there for my daughter, and ultimately myself, is, in the best of cases, a day lost and wasted. In the worst of cases, it does more damage than it does good.
I know my issues are plenty, as are the issues of most people in this crazy, twisted society. I certainly don’t intend to blame my health for all of the problems I had in my marriage. But I don’t know that they contributed quite a bit. And, even when they didn’t, my physical health directly affects my mental well being, the effects of which are quite clear.
This weekend was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I spent a portion of Saturday night quite sick and all of Sunday trying to recover. I’m grateful that I got to spend father’s day with my daughter. And we had fun and played and laughed quite a bit. However, my general irritability due to not feeling well certainly didn’t make me the best that I could possibly be. I know I need to make room in life for feeling bad, as that’s sort of the way of things as well, this is simply too much.
So, as if I wasn’t concerned about health in general before now, I’m now making a specific effort to take time out for *ME* and to see to my own health so that I can live a longer, happier, life feeling better both for me and for the most important girl in my life: my daughter.