electronic sedation

I don’t watch much TV, really. But, still, I feel like it’s starting to play too big of a role in my life. After a long day of work and chores and meeting the demands of other people, I put Celeste down for bed and, often, as was the case last night, I fall asleep doing so. An hour or so later I wake up again with an hour or two ahead of me before I need to go to sleep. I have no problem giving myself those few hours. But, what I do with them is important and they greatly influence the rest of the hours of each day.

This should be a time to pay bills, read a good book, prepare ingredients for the next day’s supper, fold laundry, call a friend, edit photos, enjoy a cup of tea, stare into the night’s sky, clean something, exercise, or work on one of my many ongoing projects. More often than not, I find myself too tired to consider any of those things and I turn to what basically amounts to electronic sedation: the television. At least I watch good TV. In moderation that would be okay. But as it slowly becomes a daily thing I can feel my energy levels dropping day after day. Worse yet, I usually snack while doing it. Which means I’ve gained a little of all that weight I lost back.

I slept all night last night, didn’t wake hardly at all, and yet I’m exhausted this morning. Last night I just wanted to lay on my back and stare at the ceiling instead of laughing and playing and dancing and enjoying time with my daughter. I almost managed to convince myself to not get up this morning, and just sleep another hour or so. So I’ll drink coffee and take medicine and eventually make it through today, but tomorrow will be the same story if I don’t stop the pattern now.

So I’m going to have to impose some artificial limits on myself until my natural moderation kicks back in. I’m happy to provide specifics to those interested. Feel free to offer silly, serious, or sexy award for my success. It helps more than I can express.