October, 2009:

Okay, camping doesn't suck. But I'm sure you'd like to know why, even though I went camping last night, I'm waking up in my bed this morning. Here goes.

First, despite having them on three different lists, I forgot diapers again. Not a huge deal. I had enough to make it until morning, but still.

Secondly, Celeste through a huge fit when I tried to put her down. And I didn't handle it very well. She eventually went to sleep with a smile on her face asking for more "brown bear brown bear book", but still. I think she may have been frightened by the tunnel nature of the tent. A larger one is probably a good idea.

Third, because I was so busy trying to get her to sleep I didn't straighten myself out until it was cold, dark, and quiet. So, in between tossing and turning, I was doing it as quietly as possible so as not to wake Celeste or my campmates.

Fourth, I forgot to bring a sleeping pad or air mattress. Not a big deal either, in the summer. The people we camped with lent us an extra, but it didn't work with only one because there wasn't enough room for Celeste and I. Sleeping pads serve a secondary function: they insulate you from warmth sapping ground.

Fifth, without a sleeping pad my -10F rated sleeping bag wasn't cutting it. It was beyond cold. I kept checking Celeste to make sure she was okay, and she was. But between the worry and the cold itself, it was hard to sleep.

Sixth, I finally got up and put on two long sleeve shirts and a jacket. My legs would still be cold but at least I could probably sleep that way.

Seventh, when I got back in my sleeping bag, the zipper broke. Mummy bags do not work without a zipper. I ended up exposed to either the cold ground or the cold air.

Eighth, at 1am I decided that if I didn't get some sleep I was going to be horribly grumpy all day and that wouldn't be good for Celeste or I… so we left.

Lessons learned:
1. Get a bigger tent. Not huge, just bigger.

2. Mummy bags suck and have a single point of failure. When possible, bring blankets.

3. Always bring a sleeping pad, cot, or air mattress. At the very least, bring extra blankets or find a pile of leaves and pine needles to put under the tent.

4. Never trust equipment you haven't used several times. Bring a backup plan.

5. Never trust the packaging any product is in.

6. Never go camping with a toddler and only 45 minutes of both planning and packing… unless you're camping nearby and can go home if needed. :)

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All the rain up here is really weighing heavy on my plans to spend time outdoors. I didn’t really figure out much to do inside, so I’m scrambling to find stuff C will enjoy.

Yesterday, we went for a nice walk in the woods — William’s Woods, to be exact. It was a little squishy on account of being in a marsh and the recent rain. But we had fun anyway. C loved looking for each trail marker along the way and I got some beautiful photos. I ended up carrying her for most of the 2 mile walk because the roots were thick and the terrain rough and sloped. But she didn’t seem to mind. We saw a downy woodpecker, a blue jay, and a snake. In all three cases, I was more interested in letting C look at them than I was making any motions to get my camera, so, there are no photos.

Looking up information online, the snake was either a Ribbon Snake or a Garter Snake. The former is apparently very rare here and a species of special concern. I’ve looked over the comparison photos over and over again trying to decide which one I saw, and I just can’t. He was in fallen leaves so I couldn’t see his sides, and his head was pointed away from us. More than anything, I’d done very little research on snakes before going hiking and just wanted to stay far enough away to ensure we didn’t get bit, just in case, and yet close enough that C could enjoy it.

After lunch, C was ready for a nap. But, despite my best efforts, she just wouldn’t go down. So we decided to take a drive to Middlebury, just for a trip in the mountains. Of course she fell asleep within a few minutes, but I finished the drive anyway. She woke up just as I was pulling into the drive way. Her request: “ride in the white caaaar!??”. I tried to explain to her that we’d just finished a 2 hour drive, but she wouldn’t hear of it. By the time I decided I needed to go to the store anyway, she was in total breakdown mode. It was the first time it had ever happened for me. I asked to her to calm down so we could talk and waited patiently for the 15 minutes or so in which she was upset and inconsolable.

We spent the rest of the evening inside, coloring pictures, playing with bowls, and reading books. We ran to the store around 7pm or so and had fun looking for things and playing silly games. A lady at the store came up to me and said, “your little girl is precious and you seem like a really good father”. That made me feel really, really good.

Today is supposed to be cold and rainy. We’re driving up the lake to see my brother and do some sightseeing. I’m going to have to pack my bags FULL of stuff for C to do, just in case the rain is so bad it’s not worth trying. The plan is to do some driving around and some walking and playing, pick up his girls when they get out of school, and then make supper for when his wife gets home. Then we’ll drive back down to my grandmothers.

It should be a fun day, especially if the weather cooperates.

I hope you enjoy this photo of Celeste walking on my grandmother’s driveway. The plastic bag she’s carrying is for collecting leaves.

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I've been in and out of sleep for the past 3 hours. I keep waking up from the same basic nightmare: an older (10 or so) kid is threatening C and I continuously handle it in a way that leaves her dead or paralyzed.

The waking up part is a byproduct of the room we're sleeping in. I don't known what's in here, but I'm very allergic to it. My throat is scratchy, my ears itch, my eyes are watering, and I keep sneezing. It didn't start until I made the bed last night, so it must be in here somewhere. C is sleeping well, though, so that's good.  I'll have to make a run for some antihistamine (maybe benadryl since I'll be sleeping anyway) today so I can survive tonight.

Yesterday was a good day. C warmed up to my grandparents pretty quickly. We went exploring a bit too. Than my brother and sister-in-law came over ith my two neices and we played and had dinner. It's so awwesome to watch how C interacts with other, older, kids. Being around them makes her want to run more and be held less.

She is such a joy. Nothing compares to the happiness I feel when I see her happy and interested in her environment.

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Yesterday was nice and expected, but not at all how I like to spend my vacation time. We ate breakfast at grandma's house, then drove to my mom's house. There we walked around the yard for a bit, and then went out for lunch. When we got home the baby napped and mom and I played "upwords". When the baby woke up we carved a pumpkin and roasted the seeds. Then we went to visit an aunt. Then we went back to my grandmother's for dinner. After dinner, C and I went for a little walk. Then we had raspberry pie. Then I gave her a bath. We played for a little more and then I brought my mom home. Then we came back to my grandma's, she and I talked for a bit, and C and I were in bed by 9:30.

Today is our last day in New York. Sometime right after lunch, C and I will pile into the car and take a ferry across the lake to Vermont. 15 minutes after that we should be pulling down the long driveway to my grandmother's house.

I'm going to miss my mom and my grandmother. Despite the fact that we conflict often, I know my mom means well and she genuinely cares about C and I. We just need more time to sort out how to fit in the same space. My grandmother has been nothing but kind, and accomodating, and generous. Despite being 76 years old, she's done everything she can to make us feel at home.

Vermont should be a nice change. My mom requires a lot of structure in order to be happy. If you've ever wondered where I get that side of me from, wonder no more. But toddlers (and as I'm starting to learn, happiness) and structure don't go together well. My Vermont family will be less strict and less demanding of our time which means we'll get a chance to just BE and enjoy this beautiful countryside and crisp, cool, air.

It's cold out and my laptop is in the car, so you don't get a photo today. But you can rest assured that C was very, very cute yesterday. She's taken to placing her forehead directly into whatever animal she see and shouting "hiiiiii, kitty!". Or, in the case of my grandmother's big brittney spaniel, "hiiiiiii, Mr. Jingles!".

Which reminds me. I should get a photo of C and Mr. Jingles before we head out again today. I'm sure she'd be happy to see those again.

My grandmother has so many old photo albums. Useless, perhaps, at the time. But so treasured now. It's encouraged me to start keeping digital albums of our adventures and days online. Not so much for right now, but to go back to later and remember.

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I found some "Neighbor Net" at my Grandmother's house. It's not fantastic, but, I was pulling photos off of camera cards and thought it was worth a shot to check.

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We made it to the pumpkin patch after all yesterday. C wasn’t all that crazy about it but she did enjoy the tractor drawn wagon ride on the way out there. Then she ate TWO hotdogs for lunch at McSweenys. We walked around the mall for a bit since it was raining. Then later ran around my grandmother’s small apple orchard. The whole day was topped off with a chicken and spaghetti dinner.

Chasing after a toddler all day can certainly have difficult moments, but, for the most part I’m used to it. I’m also prone to getting overstressed and breaking down. But I’ve learned how to communicate that with others and straighten myself out as quickly as possible. However, I hadn’t consdered the effect my mother would have on me here.

My mother is disabled. Despite being able to mostly take care if herself in most cases, she’s gotten very used to people taking care of her. On top of that she’s very opinionated, unable to go with the flow, and needs everything laid out in front of her. I’ve learned how to care of her and dodge the more difficult aspects of her personality over many years together. So, for the most part, that’s okay.

But together — toddler in one arm mother attached to the other — it’s difficult. I’m slowly adjusting but, I feel certain that by the time I get it all figured out, it’ll be time to leave.

Today is supposed to be rain free. Hopefully we’ll do some exploring for a bit before going to my grandfather’s for a few hours and then heading out somewhere for dinner.

I almost forgot to mention this. On Tuesday we took a nice drive up to whiteface mountain. On the way back down we stopped in Jay to let C run around on the covered bridge. We went down to the AuSable river front and showed C how to throw rocks in the river. She put a little too much umpf into one of her throws and ended up following the rock into the river. I jumped in after her and we both ended up cold and wet but none worse for the wear. Of course I had a change of clothes for her, but not shoes or clothes for me. So we headed home freezing cold.

The kiddo is awake now, so I’d better go for now.

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It's a very rainy morning here in Peru, NY, so our plans to visit a pumpkin patch are on hold. However, we've got plenty to do today and are excited about the day ahead of us.

We're going into the city for rain boots and a nice lunch. Then we're headed back to play games and enjoy the afternoon.

This photo isn't great since it comes from a camera phone, but she's just so cute I couldn't pass up sharing it. I'll have better photos when I return.

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